Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other

These days,
people
believe that it is a beneficial activity to compete with each other especially at
work
,school,and in daily life.
While
others think that individuals ought to cooperate more rather than
competing
Wrong verb form
compete
show examples
against each other.I will discuss both views to gain an appropriate understanding, and I will support my opinion in conclusion. On the one hand, competitive spirit leads to improved
work
speed and quality of
work
. In a
work
environment where
people
contest with their
colleagues
Add a comma
colleagues,
show examples
it helps them to progress the task in an excellent way.
Moreover
,
people
can achieve their goals when they start to compete with others.
Additionally
, they automatically increase their energy to succeed in a particular event.
For example
, students in school they become recently more willing to
contrast
Verb problem
compete
show examples
with other students in competitions and exams to get high scores or to achieve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first,
also
I used to compete with my
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
, especially in math classes which helped me to achieve high marks and good scores.
Therefore
, many
people
see that racing against others is a profitable thing to do.
On the Other hand
, cooperation promotes positive relationships among those around them.To explain more, with collaboration society becomes more patient and willing to understand more each other with no jealousy,and it
also
helps to keep their minds happy and relieve stress.
For instance
, University students who always
trying
Wrong verb form
try
show examples
to cooperate more than compete are very satisfied with their lives. In conclusion,
while
some
people
think that trying to cooperate more with
people
leads to building good relationships, the benefits of competition at
work
,
such
as improving
work
speed and achieving goals, are
also
significant.
Therefore
, I strongly believe that challenging other
people
is essential for achieving success.
Submitted by emannabilalmanthari on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to further develop your ideas with more elaborate examples and details. This will strengthen your argument and make your essay more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Focus on improving the clarity and variety of your sentence structures. This will enhance the comprehensibility of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on the cohesion between your paragraphs. Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to ensure a smoother flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a strong framework for the discussion.
task achievement
You have presented a balanced discussion by exploring both sides of the argument. This is essential for a well-rounded essay.
task achievement
The use of personal examples adds credibility and personal touch to your arguments, making them more relatable.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
What to do next:
Look at other essays: