IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other

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These days,
people
Use synonyms
 believe that it is a beneficial activity to compete with each other especially at
work
Use synonyms
,school,and in daily life.
While
Linking Words
 others think that individuals ought to cooperate more rather than
competing
Wrong verb form
compete
show examples
 against each other.I will discuss both views to gain an appropriate understanding, and I will support my opinion in conclusion. On the one hand, competitive spirit leads to improved
work
Use synonyms
 speed and quality of
work
Use synonyms
. In a
work
Use synonyms
 environment where
people
Use synonyms
 contest with their
colleagues
Add a comma
colleagues,
show examples
 it helps them to progress the task in an excellent way.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 can achieve their goals when they start to compete with others.
Additionally
Linking Words
, they automatically increase their energy to succeed in a particular event.
For example
Linking Words
, students in school they become recently more willing to
contrast
Verb problem
compete
show examples
 with other students in competitions and exams to get high scores or to achieve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first,
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 I used to compete with my
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
, especially in math classes which helped me to achieve high marks and good scores.
Therefore
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 see that racing against others is a profitable thing to do.
On the Other hand
Linking Words
, cooperation promotes positive relationships among those around them.To explain more, with collaboration society becomes more patient and willing to understand more each other with no jealousy,and it
also
Linking Words
 helps to keep their minds happy and relieve stress.
For instance
Linking Words
, University students who always
trying
Wrong verb form
try
show examples
 to cooperate more than compete are very satisfied with their lives. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 think that trying to cooperate more with
people
Use synonyms
 leads to building good relationships, the benefits of competition at
work
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as improving
work
Use synonyms
 speed and achieving goals, are
also
Linking Words
 significant.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I strongly believe that challenging other
people
Use synonyms
 is essential for achieving success.

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task achievement
Try to further develop your ideas with more elaborate examples and details. This will strengthen your argument and make your essay more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Focus on improving the clarity and variety of your sentence structures. This will enhance the comprehensibility of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on the cohesion between your paragraphs. Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to ensure a smoother flow of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a strong framework for the discussion.
task achievement
You have presented a balanced discussion by exploring both sides of the argument. This is essential for a well-rounded essay.
task achievement
The use of personal examples adds credibility and personal touch to your arguments, making them more relatable.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
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