The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The diagram above provides details of how to produce
sugar
from
sugar
cane
in seven stages
Overall
, the whole manufacturing process of
sugar
from
sugar
cane
involves seven steps. The mature
sugar
cane
passes through two steps to transform into juices. The
sugar
cane
juices
then
undergo a series of procedures to obtain the type of
sugar
used for confectionery.
Firstly
, it takes approximately one and a half years to grow
sugar
canes into a stage where they are suitable for the making of
sugar
.
Then
, the farms
harvests
Change the verb form
harvest
show examples
the mature
sugar
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
show examples
either manually or using a harvester.
Afterthat
Correct your spelling
After that
, the
sugar
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
show examples
are crushed thoroughly and
transform
Wrong verb form
transformed
show examples
into juice. The
sugar
cane
juice is
then
purified to remove any impurities that might contaminate the product. In the purifying step, a funnel-like equipment called
limestone
Correct article usage
a limestone
show examples
filter is used. The filtered liquid is
then
evaporated in
a
Change the article
an
show examples
evaporator at a fairly high temperature with constant heat provided at the bottom. The purpose of
this
step is to make the
sugar
cane
juice into a form of
syrup
. Throughout
this
stage, crystals are inevitably formed within the
syrup
.
Therefore
, the
syrup
needs to
centrifuge
Wrong verb form
be centrifuged
show examples
in order to remove those solids.
Finally
, the
syrup
is dried and cooled in a container resulting in the final product which is
sugar
.
Submitted by annaipsw13 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, cane, syrup with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "provides" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • manufacturing process
  • sugar cane
  • harvesting
  • transporting
  • factory
  • crushing
  • extracting
  • juice
  • filtering
  • impurities
  • heating
  • evaporating
  • syrup
  • boiling
  • crystallizing
  • sugar
  • separating
  • drying
  • packaging
  • distribution
  • stage
  • process
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