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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Several languages are in danger of extinction because they are spoken by very small numbers of people. Some people say that governments should spend public money on saving these languages, while others believe that would be a waste of money. Discuss both these views and give your opinion

#languages #danger #extinction #numbers #people #governments #money #waste
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The issue of the possibility of
disapper
Correct your spelling
disappearing
languages
 has become a subject of debate.
While
 some people argue that it should be a matter for governments to spend public funds to save these
languages
. Others believe that it would be a waste of money to save unspoken
languages
. In my opinion, the states should give
this
 problem some attention and rescue it .
This
 essay will discuss both
prospectives
Replace the word
prospects
show examples
.   On the one hand, saving unspoken
languages
 is important for several reasons. Simply because
languages
 represent our identity and culture. Every country has its own unique
language
. And we should not give that up. We have to start using these
languages
 more often. And encourage other people to use it. The government should invest in saving our original
languages
.
For example
. They can add a subject in schools about the country’s native
language
.
As a result
, the younger generation will continue to save the
language
. And pass it to the next generation.  
On the other hand
, people who think it is a waste of money
are probably believe
Change the verb form
probably believe
show examples
 that there are more important matters to be funded than saving unspoken
language
.
For example
, investing to enhance the
aducation
Correct your spelling
education
 system. Or build more quality hospitals. Are more important than saving extinction
languages
.
Other
Change the wording
Another
show examples
 reason is they are okay with speaking a foreign
language
,
such
 as English.
Therefore
, they do not need other
languages
 to communicate.   In conclusion,
while
 it is crucial to enhance education and medical facilities, I still believe it is important to save the original
language
 of each nation.
Submitted by reem.rz112 on

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task achievement
Clarify ideas and arguments by providing more detailed explanations and specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the logical flow of ideas by linking sentences and paragraphs more smoothly.
task achievement
Address both views with balanced consideration and avoid repetition of ideas.
task achievement
The essay adequately addresses the prompt and provides both perspectives on the issue.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion which help guide the reader through the argument.
task achievement
The argument about the importance of languages to cultural identity is well presented.
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