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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below gives information about levels of education in Glasgow, a city in Scotland in 2010.

The charts below gives information about levels of education in Glasgow, a city in Scotland in 2010.
#information #levels #education #glasgow #city #scotland
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The bar chart despite the information on the proportion of
citizen’s
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens’
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education
Use synonyms
 levels in Glasgow, Scotland average by age in 2010. The pie charts illustrate the percentage of
education
Use synonyms
 degrees of all citizens and the average by gender in 2010.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the percentage of citizens who graduate with a high degree was the highest average for 16-50
years
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 the proportion of men’s
education
Use synonyms
 levels was higher than women's in 2010. In 2010, The figure of
people
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 who had high
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
 in
school
Use synonyms
 certificates and university degrees averaged 16-50
years
Use synonyms
 old around 91%. the number of
people
Use synonyms
 aged 24-35 was
graduate
Replace the word
graduated
show examples
 from university
the
Add a missing verb
was the
show examples
 highest around 76% more than 16-24 and 35-50 by 5%. The percentage of
school
Use synonyms
 certificates
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 around 15 per cent in 24-35
years
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 old and 20 per cent in 16-24 and 35-50
years
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 old respectively.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the figure for
education
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 levels of elderly
people
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 (50-75) experienced 70% of
people
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 who study over than
school
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 certificate. And the oldest
people
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 study only 28%. The proportion of men
education
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 degree was highest than women. Male
people
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 graduate from university around 32%.
And both
Correct word choice
Both
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 males and females graduated with
school
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 certificates with the same figure
around
Change preposition
of around
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 33%.
Submitted by jeebjib14 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words education, years, people, school with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 5 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage distribution
  • educational levels
  • qualifications
  • higher education
  • school level qualifications
  • no qualifications
  • proportions
  • notable trends
  • outliers
  • age demographics
  • economic conditions
  • social policies
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