Nowadays people use bicycles less as a form of transport. Why is this case? What can we do to encourage people to use bicycles more? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

Before the advancement of technology
people
used to utilize
bicycles
to travel from one place to
other
Correct quantifier usage
another
show examples
. These days many
people
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
other transport methods as compared to
bicycle
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
show examples
and the population can be encouraged to
use
bicycle
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
show examples
to commute
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
their
work places
Correct your spelling
workplaces
show examples
and perform other tasks.
This
essay will outline two causes and how
people
can be motivated to
use
bicycles
and
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
last
I will provide my experience.
Firstly
, there are many reasons why
people
do not
use
bicycles
. The main important reason is
work places
Correct your spelling
workplaces
show examples
and markets are far from their houses and it becomes hard to reach their destinations on time.
For example
,
people
in Sydney work in the cities and
commutes
Correct subject-verb agreement
commute
show examples
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
long distances and it becomes
for
Correct word choice
difficult for
show examples
them to
use
bicycles
. Another reason is that Separate
bicycle
paths and no reserved space in public transport
such
as trains and
people
cannot carry with them
bicycles
.
Moreover
,
dud
Correct your spelling
due
show examples
to
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
cycle paths they
use
same
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the same
show examples
road
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
other motors and
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
increases more chances to met with accidents. Certainly, there are some options the Authorities can
use
to encourage the cyclists. The primary factor is the Government must provide employment in local areas, so workers get jobs and ride
bicycles
.
In addition
, the Council must impose heavy parking rates for vehicles, so
people
will start using
bicycles
.
For instance
, in
downtown
Add a comma
downtown,
show examples
many
people
use
bicycles
instead
of private vehicles, which help to control the pollution. My experience, I used to
use
bicycle
Add an article
a bicycle
show examples
when I was studying in school for less distance after I completed school
joined
Correct word choice
and joined
show examples
college
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it was
long
Add an article
a long
show examples
distance from my home so I started using
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
transport system. In conclusion, following the analysis of
causes
Correct article usage
the causes
show examples
and how we can encourage the
people
,
it is clear that
the State must provide
bicycles
Change the noun form
bicycle
show examples
paths and jobs in local areas and impose heavy parking charges, so the population can consider using
bicycles
.
Submitted by rbtech65 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and flows logically from one idea to the next.
task achievement
Expand on your main points with more detailed explanations. This will help strengthen your argument and demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Check for small grammatical inaccuracies and awkward phrasing to enhance the overall clarity and readability of your essay.
task achievement
You provided a clear explanation of the reasons why people use bicycles less and proposed suggestions to encourage bicycle use.
coherence cohesion
The essay introduction and conclusion are present and summarize your main points.
task achievement
You used relevant examples from your own experience, which supported your points well.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable transport
  • cycling infrastructure
  • bike lanes
  • bike-sharing programs
  • traffic calming measures
  • commute
  • subsidies
  • physical exertion
  • environmental benefits
  • safety regulations
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