Some people believe that the internet has brought people closer together, while others think that people and communities have become more isolated. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Internet
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The Internet
show examples
has made some
people
’s lives much easier by bringing them all
together with
family members.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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contrast, some
people
have
perception
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the perception
a perception
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that
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
has
made
Verb problem
set
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them apart from each other.
According to
me,
internet
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the internet
show examples
has played
significant
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a significant
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role in strengthening
the
Correct article usage
apply
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relations.
Internet
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The Internet
show examples
has modernized the communication between families through social media.
For instance
, immigrants who recently migrated to
foreign
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a foreign
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country can easily communicate with their
family
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families
show examples
through social media.
Internet
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The Internet
show examples
has played
significant
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a significant
show examples
role in strengthening business relationships.
For example
,
employer
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the employer
an employer
show examples
can easily communicate with his
employee
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employees
show examples
through various
platform
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platforms
show examples
like
google meet
Correct your spelling
Google Meet
show examples
, zoom etc. and can assign tasks without any physical presence.
On the other hand
,
people
think, it is bringing isolation among them. Nowadays, schools or colleges are scheduling online classes which some parents think, is not good for their children.
For instance
, having ease to online classes can make children alone and
focusing
Wrong verb form
focus
show examples
on screens for long hours. Not only that,
people
think that
due to
excess
Correct article usage
the excess
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ease of online platforms, they are becoming lazy.
For example
, lack of outdoor activity has made
people
obese and
this
has caused some
people
depression.
According to
me,
internet
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the internet
show examples
is a huge blessing in our world as it has not only
bought
Correct your spelling
brought
show examples
people
closer through social media applications
such
as WhatsApp,
we chat
Correct your spelling
WeChat
show examples
etc., but it has modernized
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
societies as well. In conclusion,
people
have different
perception
Fix the agreement mistake
perceptions
show examples
regarding the benefits of
internet
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the internet
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as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
some
show examples
say it has made their daily routine convenient
while
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
think that as means of separating
people
. I strongly believe that
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
has made our lives much better.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the task with a clear response, but you could improve the introduction by clearly stating both sides of the argument. Mention both views more explicitly before presenting your opinion.
task achievement
While your main points are fairly well-supported, they could benefit from further development and explanation. Try to add more detailed examples and clarify your ideas further.
coherence cohesion
To improve logical structure, try ensuring that each paragraph transitions smoothly from one idea to the next. Linking words and phrases can help with this.
coherence cohesion
Some of your sentences could be clearer and more precise. Pay attention to sentence construction and aim for varied sentence structures to enhance readability.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your opinion, providing a clear stance on the issue.
supported main points
You provide relevant examples to support your points, particularly in discussing the benefits of the Internet for communication and business.
logical structure
The essay is logically structured and presents a balanced discussion of both views, which is a strong aspect of your task achievement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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