You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Reporting of crimes and other kinds of violent news on television and in newspapers can have adverse consquences. This kind of information should be restricted from being shown in the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? You should write at least 250 words.

Nowadays, people see or read a lot of
news
about aggressive offences which could have negative effects. Some individuals think that
this
type of details should not be easily accessible and should be cancelled. In
this
essay, both sides of
this
controversial issue will be discussed, and my humble opinion will
finally
be given. On the one hand, violent information can affect on human mental state and have adverse
consquences
Correct your spelling
consequences
.
For instance
, anyone has
ability
Change the article
the ability
show examples
to see the
news
on television, but as far as it
known
Add the auxiliary verb
is known
show examples
, there are people who are highly receptive and sensitive. It means that
this
type of data can harm a person or can create certain injuries. Especially,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
applies to children, pregnant women, the older generation and
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
individuals with health problems.
On the other hand
,
news
about criminal violence could have
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
side. Thanks to
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
facts, humans can know more about crime and be safe from
this
.
For example
, when journalists write
news
about
this
, they describe the situation in detail.
That is
, how that person behaved, what he did, and
another important aspects
Replace the adjective
another important aspect
other important aspects
show examples
.
This
and other similar reports
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
to identify the perpetrator and prevent danger. Having both sides of the issue considered, I strongly believe that there must be a balance. Too detailed announcements about a violent crime can affect a person's physical and mental well-being. At the same time, it is impossible to completely abandon
this
, as the
news
is beneficial for the safety of citizens. If certain boundaries are observed,
then
there will be no threat to humans.
Submitted by bellovanina97 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrases that could be refined to make the essay clearer and more professional.
task response
The essay could benefit from a clearer thesis statement that explicitly states your opinion. This would strengthen the task response.
language complexity
Try using more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance the readability and sophistication of your writing.
task response
You have clearly presented both sides of the argument, which shows balanced consideration of the issue.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a logical flow, with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a balanced view.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!