You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Reporting of crimes and other kinds of violent news on television and in newspapers can have adverse consquences. This kind of information should be restricted from being shown in the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? You should write at least 250 words.
Nowadays, people see or read a lot of
news
about aggressive offences which could have negative effects. Some individuals think that this
type of details should not be easily accessible and should be cancelled. In this
essay, both sides of this
controversial issue will be discussed, and my humble opinion will finally
be given.
On the one hand, violent information can affect on human mental state and have adverse consquences
. Correct your spelling
consequences
For instance
, anyone has ability
to see the Change the article
the ability
news
on television, but as far as it known
, there are people who are highly receptive and sensitive. It means that Add the auxiliary verb
is known
this
type of data can harm a person or can create certain injuries. Especially, it
applies to children, pregnant women, the older generation and Correct pronoun usage
apply
to
individuals with health problems.
Change preposition
apply
On the other hand
, news
about criminal violence could have positive
side. Thanks to Add an article
a positive
this
facts, humans can know more about crime and be safe from Correct determiner usage
these
this
. For example
, when journalists write news
about this
, they describe the situation in detail. That is
, how that person behaved, what he did, and another important aspects
. Replace the adjective
another important aspect
other important aspects
This
and other similar reports helps
to identify the perpetrator and prevent danger.
Having both sides of the issue considered, I strongly believe that there must be a balance. Too detailed announcements about a violent crime can affect a person's physical and mental well-being. At the same time, it is impossible to completely abandon Change the verb form
help
this
, as the news
is beneficial for the safety of citizens. If certain boundaries are observed, then
there will be no threat to humans.Submitted by bellovanina97 on
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grammar
There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrases that could be refined to make the essay clearer and more professional.
task response
The essay could benefit from a clearer thesis statement that explicitly states your opinion. This would strengthen the task response.
language complexity
Try using more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance the readability and sophistication of your writing.
task response
You have clearly presented both sides of the argument, which shows balanced consideration of the issue.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a logical flow, with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a balanced view.