One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#consequences #care #people #life #expectancy #development

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More investments

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medical care can lead to

improvement

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of people’s health and elongation

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life

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. I am of

opinion

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the opinion

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that

this

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phenomenon has more pros than cons, which

about

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apply

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I will discuss in

this

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essay.

The

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Medicine

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medicine

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is very important

for

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us and only thanks to it we can save our

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life

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lives

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in difficult

situation

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situations

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, so governments should improve

the

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apply

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medicine

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Firstly

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, if we live long , we will able to enjoy

life

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longer, we will have more time

for

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realize our dreams and aims,

as well as

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foe

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for

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self-development and study,

for example

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, in old age we may be able to make some new

discovery

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discoveries

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necessary for the world.

Secondly

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living

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by living

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long we will be able to meet our grandchildren and great-grandchildren and will be able to share important knowledge and values with them. It helps us to create strong family ties.

In addition

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, medical

improvement

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will leave a mark on the

economic

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economy

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, because people will be able to work longer and bring a lot of money to the state.

Thus

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, I can emphasize that

this

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improvement

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has

enormous

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an enormous

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amount of positive aspects.

On the other hand

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, definitely, every development has some drawbacks. First of all, improving

medicine

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significantly

impact

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impacts

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budget

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the budget

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of healthcare,

for instance

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, a lot of money needs to be invested in treatment, instruments and certified workers.

Also

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, if elder people live longer, the state will have to pay

pension

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pensions

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for longer too,

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this

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and this

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will affect the economic situation of countries.

To sum up

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, most of the disadvantages of improving

medicine

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come from financial expenses.

To conclude

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, I strongly believe that it is necessary to improve

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medicine

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medical

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care and increase people’s

lifetime

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lives

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apply

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because

this

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contributes to

develop

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developing

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our community and humanity.

Besides

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improvement

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will give a good impetus for a happy future, will lead to new discoveries and will make our

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life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

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better.

Submitted by saedv460 on Wed Aug 28 2024

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task achievement

Your essay addresses the task adequately with a clear position that the advantages of increased life expectancy due to improved medical care outweigh the disadvantages. However, you should include more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

The structure of your essay is generally coherent, with an introduction, main body, and conclusion. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that there is a logical flow between ideas. Consider improving the clarity of some sentences and addressing small grammatical errors to enhance readability.

task achievement

Your essay clearly introduces the topic and provides a balanced view, addressing both advantages and disadvantages of the increased life expectancy.

coherence cohesion

You have a strong conclusion that summarizes your main points and reinforces your position effectively.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

6.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

7.5

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

6.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

307 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

life expectancy
elderly population
health care systems
pension funds
extended family relationships
quality of life
aging population
economic growth
volunteer work
expertise
financial planning
retirement
age-related diseases
medical research
healthier lifestyles

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In some cities, public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own food and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With the increased use of computers, the Internet and smartphones, more and more people are starting to work from home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?