The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and solution of this disturbing trend.

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Nowadays in the western part of the world, children´s health has been affected by the overweight for the
last
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ten years.
This
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type of situation is happening
due to
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young people do not know about healthy food. A possible solution to
this
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issue could be the creation of new programs to teach students at schools about the importance of eating vegetables.
This
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essay discusses the cause and the solution of overweight children.
Firstly
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, the schools where learners spend the most time learning, it does not create useful plans for teaching about healthy food. Despite, institutions designing programs to give crucial information about the life to younger population, they have not taken care of the causes and the consequences of eating fast food that produces overweight.
According to
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recent research, one in five childhood individuals is obese.
However
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, the government of different countries could create new knowledge projects at institutes about the risks and the diseases produced by eating unhealthy foodstuffs.
In addition
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, when the students learn and make their own criteria, there could exist the probability that they will prefer eating products that are good for their bodies.
For example
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, thanks to many of these educational plans in Colombia some childhood individuals have changed their pizza for ramen which gives more nutrients to their bodies.
To sum up
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, a cause of obesity in boys and girls is the deficit of knowledge projects at institutes about correct feeding in the learners,
nevertheless
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, a solution to
this
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situation is the formulation of new policies for teaching about the necessity of eating good aliments.

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples or case studies to strengthen the argument and make it more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a consistent use of tense and subject-verb agreement to enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
Clarify some of the vague expressions, such as in the introduction, and improve sentence structures for clarity.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, outlining the problem and suggesting a solution.
task achievement
The writer addresses both the cause (lack of education about healthy food) and the solution (educational programs), which aligns well with the task prompt.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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