Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views with your opinion
Decision making
is an important part of Add a hyphen
Decision-making
children
upbringing. Change noun form
children's
However
, some individuals commonly argue that if teenagers make their own choices
, they will not care about others, whereas
some argue that this
is vital for them to make their own decisions
.
To begin
, opponents of children making choices
believe that this
will make them self-centered
, and they will no longer think about others’ desires. Change the spelling
self-centred
This
is because they will be prone to do whatever suits them from their childhood, such
as:
eating their Remove the comma
apply
favorite
foods,Change the spelling
favourite
wearing
their Correct word choice
or wearing
favorite
clothes.
Change the spelling
favourite
Therefore
, they will not pay attention to others’ suggestions and devotions. In contrast
, proponents of adolescents making their own choices
believe that this
will make them mature and responsible. This
is because they will have to handle the consequences of their decisions
. Moreover
, they will have to handle the troubles caused by their selections. Therefore
, when children are known
that they are completely responsible for their Wrong verb form
know
decisions
, they will make more wise
Correct word choice
wiser
choices
like:facing problems in the future if they select the wrong subjects in which they are not interested.
Furthermore
, I completely believe that pupils should be given the right to make their own selection in any aspect of life; this
will make them feel more confident and successful in the future. Moreover
, according to
selecting their favorite subjects to study in school, because this
will make them more successful in the future.
To conclude
, although
making decisions
in everyday matters can make teenagers neglecting others’ wishes; however
, I firmly believe that by taking their own decisions
, they will get more responsible and confident.Submitted by sajeehulzamans on
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task achievement
Clarify and develop the explanation about the opposing view that children's choices make them self-centered. Provide concrete examples to support your point.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas within paragraphs more clearly. Some transitions between sentences are abrupt, which affects the flow of the essay.
task achievement
Expand on examples and explanations for why allowing children to make their own choices leads to responsibility and maturity. Be specific.
coherence and cohesion
Proofread for minor grammatical errors and improve sentence variety for better readability.
task achievement
The essay effectively presents both sides of the argument and provides a clear opinion.
coherence and cohesion
There is a distinct introduction and conclusion, which provide a clear structure to the essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses relevant points and examples, particularly about the benefits of children making their own choices.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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