Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self- employed?
Choosing the method of employment has become
one
of the major argued issues. Many people argue that self-employment
is much better than working for a company or organization, while
others believe that self-employment
has its negative drawbacks. This
essay will discuss both aspects.
On the one
hand, a lot of individuals opt to work independently rather than working for corporations to obtain more flexible jobs
. self-employment
not only saves time
but also
fosters the balance between personal life and work. For instance
, rather than wasting time
commuting to the workplace, self-employed individuals can exploit their time
to gather with their families. Additionally
, working independently allows employers
to join more than Correct your spelling
employees
one
jobs
, Fix the agreement mistake
job
so
increases their income. Correct word choice
which
For example
, research conducted at Harvard University in 2010 showed that the income of self-employed individuals was 45% more than a traditional employee.
on the other hand
, self-employment
poses various negative consequences to societies. One
of them is being less sociable. employers who work independently lack a professional environment and tend to be more isolated which may affect their emotions and cause resentment. Moreover
, a lot of freelance jobs
are unstable which may hamper freelancers' careers. Most freelance offers are short-term jobs
which put workers under stress most of the time
. If self-workers cannot find any opportunity, they will lose their financial support. That is
way
many people still search for traditional Correct your spelling
why
jobs
to ensure stable income.
To conclude
, recently, the phenomenon of self-employment
has expanded tremendously. Although
this
has many positive aspects, it poses multi-faceted challenges that necessitate immediate attention.Submitted by haderabouslema93 on
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introduction
You should refine the introduction to clearly state that you will argue both sides before taking a definite stance in the conclusion. This will make your position more explicit from the start.
evidence
The use of examples like the Harvard research is good, but make sure that all examples are seamlessly integrated into the point you're making. Sometimes examples can feel like they are just 'added on' rather than a cohesive part of your argument.
grammar
There are some minor grammatical errors and word choice issues (e.g., "self-employment" should be capitalized at the beginning of sentences, "employers" vs. "employees"). Pay attention to these as they affect the overall clarity of your essay.
coherence
Your essay is well-organized, and you have managed to cover both aspects of the argument effectively within the limited word count.
evidence
You have provided specific examples and data which adds credibility to your arguments and makes your essay more persuasive.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the arguments discussed and ties the essay together, providing a clear ending.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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