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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

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There's a phenomenon saying that nowadays
people
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 are becoming more enthusiastic about digging out the historical
information
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 of their
houses
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due to
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 many reasons like thirst for knowledge. As far as I'm concerned, some effective methods can be taken to help and promote their research. Evidently,
people
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 are facing different factors that motivate them to find out the historical message of their buildings.
Firstly
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, for someone who wants to rebuild their homes, getting to know the past
information
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 about their buildings helps the engineers assess the quality and situation of the architecture more clearly, which is vitally important during later redevelopment.
Secondly
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, finding out what happened in the past in their own
houses
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 is the fattest and most efficient way for the learners to finish their investigation goals, because they don't need to pay
for
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apply
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extra fees
on
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for
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 hotels in
residences
Correct pronoun usage
their residences
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.
Lastly
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 and most importantly, numerous
people
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 are attracted by the increasing income from their flats and
thus
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 begin to investigate them. Take the case of China: lots of owners try to find the background
information
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 and
then
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 upgrade their
houses
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 into relevant historical theme hotels, which are able to earn more money as more travellers choose their hotels for the special styles.
On the other hand
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, there are some meaningful approaches that can be taken to promote the investigations into their old
houses
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. The most significant one is hiring experts to support their examinations more comprehensively, as persons
expertise
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with expertise
show examples
 in history and construction can observe and derive useful data more quickly.
In addition
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, exploring the
information
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 of the areas they live online can
also
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 be a feasible method,
for example
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, a large number of city governments have already listed the ages and knowledge of the local dominant buildings for explorers to use. Meanwhile, except for the measures above, local residents can cooperate with others to accelerate their research process, as different
people
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 with various abilities helping each other are able to solve and work out the historical problems more effectively. Based on the statement and analysis, researching the historical backgrounds of private
houses
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 is gradually becoming a normal fact, and reasons like improving income and interest are the main factors leading to
such
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 a phenomenon. At the same time, many useful methods like asking the experts for help are able to tackle the difficulties
people
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 might face in the future.

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task achievement
Though your essay effectively addresses the topic and presents relevant reasons and methods, it is essential to elaborate on the examples provided. Adding more specific and varied examples would strengthen the arguments presented.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a slight improvement in organizing the ideas. Clearly defined paragraphs focusing on singular points with smooth transitions will enhance readability and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Consider improving the conclusion by summarizing all the key points discussed rather than focusing on just one. This will provide a more well-rounded ending.
task achievement
Your essay provides a thorough and clear response to the prompt, effectively exploring the reasons why people might be interested in the history of their homes and offering practical methods for researching this history.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow between the paragraphs and the structured approach to presenting the different aspects of the topic show a good command of organizing ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your use of transition words and phrases, such as 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'lastly' helps to guide the reader through your arguments effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Historical research
  • Genealogy
  • Architectural styles
  • Heritage
  • Relics
  • Oral history
  • Archival records
  • Museum exhibits
  • Historical societies
  • House tours
  • Renovation projects
  • Original blueprints
  • Careful documentation
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