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Band 6

Some claim That studying abroad has great benefits for student's home country. To extent agree or disagree.

#student #home #country
Some people say that it is advantageous for
students
 in the countryside to study outside of their country. I completely agree with
this
 opinion because I believe that studying abroad gives
students
 the opportunity to learn new things that they can not find in their hometown. First of all, studying in
foreign
Add an article
a foreign
show examples
 country can make people feel independent and allow them to pursue what they truly want to learn. In some countries, like Thailand, there is a strong belief that graduating with a bachelor's degree is essential for securing a
high wage
Add a hyphen
high-wage
show examples
 job.
However
, in other countries, individuals may not need
such
 a high degree to apply for well-paid work. Learning from different educational systems can expose
students
 to diverse views and opportunities unavailable at home.
Secondly
, studying abroad is the best way to experience new cultures and traditions firsthand. Every country has its own unique culture, Europe
for instance
 boasts diverse languages, cuisine styles,
stunning
Correct word choice
and stunning
show examples
 landscapes that are not similar to Asia’s cultural backdrop with no book or internet source fully conveyed. Some nations even offer exchange programs that allow under
18 year olds
Add a hyphen
18-year-olds
show examples
 to live with host families who are willing to share and support for short and long-term stays,
thus
 enabling young learners to adapt
various
Change preposition
to various
show examples
 lifestyles beyond parental comfort zones back home
while
 exploring beautiful destinations simultaneously.
For instance
, I am certain children who have a chance to live overseas develop better life skills compared to those solely reliant on domestic upbringing within a familiar environment supported by parents alone. In conclusion, studying abroad undeniably benefits rural
students
 equipping them with a broader understanding of the world, enhancing personal
professional
Correct word choice
and professional
show examples
 growth immeasurably valuable experiences gained far outweigh
limitations
Correct article usage
the limitations
show examples
 imposed by staying in the local environment.
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

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task achievement
While your essay has good points, try to strengthen your arguments by providing more specific examples and evidence. This will make your points more compelling and clear.
coherence cohesion
To further enhance coherence, ensure that transitions between paragraphs are smooth and sentences within paragraphs flow logically from one to the next. Consider using more linking words and phrases.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear response to the prompt with relevant main points and examples.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and a conclusion, helping to frame your argument well.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are well-supported and generally coherent, contributing to a strong overall structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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