Some people from poor and rural backgrounds find it difficult to get a university education. Universities should make it easier for such groups to enrol. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some
people
from poor and rural backgrounds find it challenging to attend
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university
,
therefore
, universities should give them more opportunities to
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
. I totally agree with
this
statement.
To begin
with, nowadays
university
education is
crucial
Add an article
a crucial
show examples
requirement to
registered
Change the form of the verb
register
show examples
for employment and most students usually
face
Wrong verb form
faced
show examples
with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
competition. One significant reason, which
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
people
from poor
family's
Change the noun form
families
family
show examples
did
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
not have a
change
Correct your spelling
chance
show examples
for attending
Change preposition
to attend
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university
is tuition fees,
that
Correct word choice
which
show examples
people
with lower
income
Fix the agreement mistake
incomes
show examples
cannot afford it.
For example
, Brisbane
university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
has accepted my friend and gave him a scholarship for his entire semester,
however
, his family cannot
sent
Change the verb form
send
be sent
show examples
him to Australia because the tickets for transportation cost too high.
Moreover
, the competition of all students around the world might be difficult for poor students because of the lack of
educations
Fix the agreement mistake
education
show examples
.
Furthermore
, the college should make more easier and
convenient
Correct quantifier usage
more convenient
show examples
for them to
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
such
as
give
Wrong verb form
by giving
show examples
them a scholarship if they have
a good average degrees
Correct the article-noun agreement
a good average degree
good average degrees
show examples
, when in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high school. One main solution is
provide
Fix the infinitive
to provide
show examples
more learning lessons on several functions to give them
less decision
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer decisions
show examples
to choose the right
university
because they can study at home,
instead
of the
university
, and it
suit
Correct subject-verb agreement
suits
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
poor
people
, which
reducing
Wrong verb form
reduces
show examples
unnecessary aspects.
For instance
, during
COVID-19
Correct article usage
the COVID-19
show examples
pandemic,
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
to change their learning lesson
into
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online,
consequently
, when it ended,
people
actually thought that
it
Add a verb
it is
it was
show examples
comfortable for them.
In addition
, it depends on how they manage it, and their goals for reaching the
university
. In conclusion, I believe that universities should make it easier for
people
from rural
background
Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
show examples
to
registered
Wrong verb form
register
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and only concentrate on their knowledge.
Submitted by napatnp18065322 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

clear comprehensive ideas
Work on developing clear, comprehensive ideas. Make sure your points are fully explained and provide more detailed examples.
logical structure
Although you have an engaged introduction and conclusion, it would help if you logically break down your arguments. Make sure each point follows on clearly from the last.
complete response
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear stance on the issue.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are present and provide a good framework for the essay.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Equal opportunity
  • Diversity
  • Underrepresented groups
  • Financial constraints
  • Scholarships
  • Quota systems
  • Preparatory courses
  • Outreach programs
  • Academic standards
  • Tokenism
  • Reverse discrimination
  • Impoverished
  • Rural areas
  • Enrollment policies
  • Non-profit organizations
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!