IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people from poor and rural backgrounds find it difficult to get a university education. Universities should make it easier for such groups to enrol. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #backgrounds #university #education #universities #groups #enrol
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Some
people
Use synonyms
 from poor and rural backgrounds find it challenging to attend
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university
Use synonyms
,
therefore
Linking Words
, universities should give them more opportunities to
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
. I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, nowadays
university
Use synonyms
 education is
crucial
Add an article
a crucial
show examples
 requirement to
registered
Change the form of the verb
register
show examples
 for employment and most students usually
face
Wrong verb form
faced
show examples
 with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
competition. One significant reason, which
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 from poor
family's
Change the noun form
families
family
show examples
did
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 not have a
change
Correct your spelling
chance
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for attending
Change preposition
to attend
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
university
Use synonyms
 is tuition fees,
that
Correct word choice
which
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 with lower
income
Fix the agreement mistake
incomes
show examples
 cannot afford it.
For example
Linking Words
, Brisbane
Use synonyms
university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
 has accepted my friend and gave him a scholarship for his entire semester,
however
Linking Words
, his family cannot
sent
Change the verb form
send
be sent
show examples
 him to Australia because the tickets for transportation cost too high.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the competition of all students around the world might be difficult for poor students because of the lack of
educations
Fix the agreement mistake
education
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the college should make more easier and
convenient
Correct quantifier usage
more convenient
show examples
 for them to
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as
give
Wrong verb form
by giving
show examples
 them a scholarship if they have
a good average degrees
Correct the article-noun agreement
a good average degree
good average degrees
show examples
, when in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high school. One main solution is
provide
Fix the infinitive
to provide
show examples
 more learning lessons on several functions to give them
less decision
Fix the agreement mistake
fewer decisions
show examples
 to choose the right
university
Use synonyms
 because they can study at home,
instead
Linking Words
 of the
university
Use synonyms
, and it
suit
Correct subject-verb agreement
suits
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
poor
people
Use synonyms
, which
reducing
Wrong verb form
reduces
show examples
 unnecessary aspects.
For instance
Linking Words
, during
COVID-19
Correct article usage
the COVID-19
show examples
 pandemic,
Use synonyms
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 to change their learning lesson
into
Change preposition
apply
show examples
online,
consequently
Linking Words
, when it ended,
people
Use synonyms
 actually thought that
it
Add a verb
it is
it was
show examples
 comfortable for them.
In addition
Linking Words
, it depends on how they manage it, and their goals for reaching the
university
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I believe that universities should make it easier for
people
Use synonyms
 from rural
background
Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
show examples
 to
registered
Wrong verb form
register
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and only concentrate on their knowledge.
Submitted by napatnp18065322 on

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clear comprehensive ideas
Work on developing clear, comprehensive ideas. Make sure your points are fully explained and provide more detailed examples.
logical structure
Although you have an engaged introduction and conclusion, it would help if you logically break down your arguments. Make sure each point follows on clearly from the last.
complete response
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear stance on the issue.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are present and provide a good framework for the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Equal opportunity
  • Diversity
  • Underrepresented groups
  • Financial constraints
  • Scholarships
  • Quota systems
  • Preparatory courses
  • Outreach programs
  • Academic standards
  • Tokenism
  • Reverse discrimination
  • Impoverished
  • Rural areas
  • Enrollment policies
  • Non-profit organizations
What to do next:
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