Some companies sponsor sports as a way to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good, while others think there are disadvantages to this. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
People have different views about the choices of several
companies
to advertise their products
by sponsoring sports
events. In my opinion, companies
should promote their service on
other ways or at other events.
On the one hand, there are two points Change preposition
in
for
support Change preposition
to
this
essay. First,
Sport
teams and Change the noun form
Sports
players
are given free equipment which they could not afford otherwise
. It helps to encourage the player to focus on their sports
instead
of being distracted by financial worries. As a result
, players
will have
any facilities to improve their skill and potential in Rephrase
not have
sports
that increase their chances of winning the game. Second,
companies
can showcase their products
on donation equipment. That were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
build
brand awareness of Fix the infinitive
to build
products
with sports
fans and make them think positively with a company and have demand to buy products
. As a result
, sport
Change the noun form
sports
players
have potential in their sports
and sports
sponsorship provides increased media exposure for a company and its brand.
On the other hand
, some people argue the reason above because there
are worried about Correct pronoun usage
they
product
categories which companies
sponsoring maybe
harmful to health. Correct your spelling
may be
For example
, tobacco and liqueur companies
their product
are unhealthy and have any affected
Correct your spelling
effects
to
health. Change preposition
on
Sport
teams should not be allowed to sponsor Change the noun form
Sports
sports
events for
protect player’s health. Change preposition
to
While as
the part of Change preposition
As
company
they Add a comma
company,
needs
Change the verb form
need
consider
about company’s reputation because it Fix the infinitive
to consider
usually
tightly linked to a player’s reputation. If the player is unsuccessful, or Add a missing verb
is usually
misbehave
it might affect Correct subject-verb agreement
misbehaves
product
sales.
In conclusion, for the reasons mentioned above, it seems to me that companies
should advertise their product
in other ways more
than promote by Correct quantifier usage
apply
sponsor
Wrong verb form
sponsoring
sport event
. So, it will protect Fix the agreement mistake
sports events
companies
and sport
Change the noun form
sports
players
from a
risk of Correct article usage
the
companies
Change noun form
companies'
company's
products
and player’s behave
.Replace the word
behaviour
Submitted by jeebjib14 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Ensure that each main point is fully developed and supported with specific examples or evidence. For instance, when mentioning players receiving free equipment, provide specific instances or statistics if possible.
coherence cohesion
Strive to improve sentence structures and grammatical accuracy. For instance, correct verb forms, articles, and conjunctions. This helps in making your ideas clearer.
task achievement
Maintain balance in discussing both viewpoints. While you discussed both sides, the viewpoint against sponsorship needs more elaboration and examples to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. There is a logical flow between the sections, and the main points are introduced systematically.
task achievement
You provided relevant points on why companies sponsor sports and how it benefits teams and players. These points are clear and well-introduced.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example