With the increased global demand for oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more resources. To what extent do you agree with this statement?
Due to
the growing needs
for gas and oil,unknown parts of the planet should be discovered in order to have more access to necessary resources. I totally disagree with the given statement as it might cause climate change and habitat problems in the future and there are far more environmentally friendly ways to obtain fuel or Fix the agreement mistake
need
energy
We should not be looking for new places to mine since it rises
Correct your spelling
raises
a
risk Correct article usage
the
to harm
the environment.Burning of fossil fuels can contribute to greenhouse gas emissions which are the main factor of global warming.Change preposition
of harming
Furthermore
, animals will have to leave their usual living place and find new areas to inhabit.It can bring unexpected consequences, namely dying out of
encountering dangers,that are new for the migrated animals
Investing money in alternative Correct your spelling
or
energy
can be a better method of getting electricity as it has both environmental and economic benefits: Renewable energy
has no carbon emissions which will lead to a
cleaner air and water.Remove the article
apply
Moreover
, a new form electricity
may cost next to nothing since its fuel supply never runs out.Change preposition
of electricity
Additionally
,there is a belief that this
way of gaining fuel is likely to bring new job opportunities.For instance
,Denmark’s authorities have been trying to cut toxic fumes from
1990 by stopping extracting or importing ordinary resources and ended up reducing gasses by 70%.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that opening up undiscovered areas is not a proper idea Change preposition
since
due to
the issues we might face as a result
of mining.The focus should be in
Change preposition
on
a
renewable Remove the article
apply
energy
as it can be much beneficial way to maintain country
with electricityCorrect article usage
a country
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Coherence
Work on linking your ideas more effectively. Use cohesive devices like 'therefore', 'consequently', and 'nevertheless' to make your argument flow more smoothly.
Coherence
Include a clear topic sentence at the beginning of each paragraph to help guide the reader through your essay. This will enhance coherence and cohesion.
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Ensure all points are supported with relevant and specific examples. Detailed examples strengthen your argument and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
General
Avoid minor grammatical and punctuation errors for a polished final essay. This includes paying attention to spacing after commas and correct use of articles.
Task achievement
You have a clear and strong position throughout the essay, which is essential for a high band score in task achievement.
Coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively reiterates your stance and summarizes key points, enhancing the overall coherence of your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.