Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays, many

people

Use synonyms

hold the view that the best way to connect

people

Use synonyms

from various cultures and ages is

Use synonyms

music

Change preposition

through music

show examples

And

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

I completely agree with

this

Linking Words

statement,

Correct word choice

and

show examples

whereas

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

essay, I will explore some of the advantages of listening to

music

Use synonyms

. Listening to

music

Use synonyms

has a lot of benefits for

people

Use synonyms

in diverse cultures. The most significant advantage is that

people

Use synonyms

can have more topics to talk about with different

people

Use synonyms

which

Fix the agreement mistake

who

show examples

have the same favourite songs or singers.

For example

Linking Words

, some of my friends like Taylor very much and once he met his best friend at Taylor's concert.

Although

Linking Words

they came from different countries and had different beliefs, they still made a good friendship at

this

Linking Words

concert. So

music

Use synonyms

can build a lot of Listening to different songs

also

Linking Words

has benefits for audiences who are from different ages.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the same favourite kinds of

music

Use synonyms

can communicate more with

people

Use synonyms

of different ages of

people

Use synonyms

, like grandparents and their children or strangers in the street.

Secondly

Linking Words

, listening to

music

Use synonyms

is beneficial to physical health,

such

Linking Words

as reducing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

stress

level

Fix the agreement mistake

levels

show examples

or having a joyful mind all

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

day

while

Linking Words

can make

people

Use synonyms

calm down and talk more friendly with others. In conclusion,

music

Use synonyms

is not only a good way to make friends with others but

also

Linking Words

the best way to keep mental and physical health. I strongly believe that

music

Use synonyms

is essential to our daily life without it, our daily life will be very boring and

also

Linking Words

without happiness.

fiasngsThu Aug 29 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

To improve your coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that is directly related to your thesis. Additionally, use more transitional words and phrases to connect your ideas smoothly.

task achievement

In terms of task response, make sure that you comprehensively address both parts of the task. Specifically, you could add more examples and elaborate on the advantages of music in connecting different cultures and age groups.

task achievement

To make your essay more compelling, focus on developing your points with greater depth and clarity. This includes providing more specific examples and discussing them in detail.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction provides a clear thesis statement, which is good for guiding the rest of the essay.

coherence cohesion

You conclude with a strong summary of your main points, reinforcing your argument effectively.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

252 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
When employers choose the best person for job they should consider personal qualities, rather than qualifications and experience. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In this developed world the corporation opts to hire a person who involves personal qualities instead of having a diploma and work experience. Personally, I agree that employers have the right to choose a problem solver and quality person than a high student degree. this essay will discuss that I feel that for two reasons which I will explore in the following essay.
6.5
band
Government should spend money on railways rahter than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.
It is generally claimed that the trains are what the authorities should invest money in, not the highways. I completely agree with this statement, as not only is it the safer way of travelling but also it serves a wider spectrum of citizens.
6
band
Wriggling critters armed with enzymes can break down plastics that would otherwise take decades, or even centuries to degrade.
At first glance there's nothing particularly remarkable about waxworms. The larval form of wax moths, these pale wriggling grubs feed on the wax that bees use to make their honeycomb. For beekeepers, the pests are something to swiftly get rid of without a second thought.
7.5
band
In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some argue that spending a huge budget on building fast intercity trains is necessary for some nations to support travellers who travel a long distance for a shorter time. Meanwhile, others believe the authority should prioritize existing public transportation first and this essay agrees with this statement. The citizens need a sufficient number of mass transit and cheaper options.
6.5
band
Formal examinations are the only effective way to assess a student's performance. Continual assessment such as coursework and projects is not a satisfactory way to do this. Do you agree or disagree?
In the realm of education, the appraisal of admission performance remains a topic of ongoing debate. While formal cross-examinations have long been considered the gold standard, I disagree with the notion that they are the only effective means of evaluating recruitment. Continual judgment methods, such as coursework and projects, offer valuable insights into recruitment capabilities and should not be disregarded.

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

When employers choose the best person for job they should consider personal qualities, rather than qualifications and experience. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Government should spend money on railways rahter than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

Wriggling critters armed with enzymes can break down plastics that would otherwise take decades, or even centuries to degrade.

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Formal examinations are the only effective way to assess a student's performance. Continual assessment such as coursework and projects is not a satisfactory way to do this. Do you agree or disagree?