Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Nowadays, many
people
hold the view that the best way to connect Use synonyms
people
from various cultures and ages is Use synonyms
Use synonyms
music
. Change preposition
through music
And
I completely agree with Correct word choice
apply
this
statement,Linking Words
Correct word choice
and
whereas
in Linking Words
this
essay, I will explore some of the advantages of listening to Linking Words
music
.
Listening to Use synonyms
music
has a lot of benefits for Use synonyms
people
in diverse cultures. The most significant advantage is that Use synonyms
people
can have more topics to talk about with different Use synonyms
people
, Use synonyms
which
have the same favourite songs or singers. Fix the agreement mistake
who
For example
, some of my friends like Taylor very much and once he met his best friend at Taylor's concert. Linking Words
Although
they came from different countries and had different beliefs, they still made a good friendship at Linking Words
this
concert. So Linking Words
music
can build a lot of
Listening to different songs Use synonyms
also
has benefits for audiences who are from different ages. Linking Words
Firstly
, the same favourite kinds of Linking Words
music
can communicate more with Use synonyms
people
of different ages of Use synonyms
people
, like grandparents and their children or strangers in the street. Use synonyms
Secondly
, listening to Linking Words
music
is beneficial to physical health, Use synonyms
such
as reducing Linking Words
the
stress Correct article usage
apply
level
or having a joyful mind all Fix the agreement mistake
levels
of
Change preposition
apply
the
day Correct article usage
apply
while
can make Linking Words
people
calm down and talk more friendly with others.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
music
is not only a good way to make friends with others but Use synonyms
also
the best way to keep mental and physical health. I strongly believe that Linking Words
music
is essential to our daily life without it, our daily life will be very boring and Use synonyms
also
without happiness.Linking Words
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coherence cohesion
To improve your coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that is directly related to your thesis. Additionally, use more transitional words and phrases to connect your ideas smoothly.
task achievement
In terms of task response, make sure that you comprehensively address both parts of the task. Specifically, you could add more examples and elaborate on the advantages of music in connecting different cultures and age groups.
task achievement
To make your essay more compelling, focus on developing your points with greater depth and clarity. This includes providing more specific examples and discussing them in detail.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction provides a clear thesis statement, which is good for guiding the rest of the essay.
coherence cohesion
You conclude with a strong summary of your main points, reinforcing your argument effectively.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.