IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

You should spend about 40 minutes on the task. Some people think that there is no need to travel to work anymore because businesses can use the internet to communicate. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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As digital communication tools continue to evolve, some argue that commuting to
work
Use synonyms
 is no longer required. Since companies can now hold meetings, collaborate, and complete tasks online, physical offices may not be as necessary as before.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, others believe that direct interaction remains essential for businesses to operate effectively.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explore both viewpoints before presenting my perspective.
Firstly
Linking Words
, technological advancements have made remote
work
Use synonyms
 highly efficient. Because video conferencing, emails, and cloud-based platforms enable
employees
Use synonyms
 to complete their duties from home, they can perform just
as well as
Linking Words
 in a traditional office setting.
In addition
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, working remotely reduces commuting expenses, saves time, and allows
employees
Use synonyms
 to enjoy greater flexibility, thereby improving their
work
Use synonyms
-life balance.
For instance
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, several global technology firms have successfully adopted remote
work
Use synonyms
 policies, proving that businesses can function smoothly even without daily office attendance.
Conversely
Linking Words
, some believe that traditional workplaces continue to serve an important purpose.
While
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 jobs in industries
such
Linking Words
 as healthcare, retail, and construction require
employees
Use synonyms
 to be physically present, office-based roles
also
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 benefit from in-person collaboration, which strengthens creativity, problem-solving, and teamwork.
Moreover
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, many companies claim that an office environment fosters discipline and maintains corporate culture, which might be difficult to achieve in a remote setting. From my perspective,
although
Linking Words
 remote
work
Use synonyms
 provides significant advantages, it cannot entirely replace office-based employment.
Instead
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, a hybrid system, where
employees
Use synonyms
 divide their time between home and the workplace, might offer the most balanced approach.
This
Linking Words
 way, businesses can harness the benefits of technology
while
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 ensuring effective communication and collaboration. To summarize, even though the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 has made remote
work
Use synonyms
 more convenient, many industries still require physical
workplaces
Replace the word
work
show examples
. A flexible model combining both remote and in-office
work
Use synonyms
 may be the best solution for the future.

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task achievement
You have presented both sides clearly and backed them up with solid examples. To improve, ensure you elaborated a little more on your arguments in the second viewpoint.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well organized, and ideas are linked logically. A recommendation would be to add some transitional phrases to enhance flow, especially between paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with a strong introduction and conclusion, which effectively summarizes your position.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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