Some people think that giving children a certain amount of money every week will help them have fewer financial problems in the future . To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Financial problems affect people of all ages. Without good
money
management skills
, it can be challenging to address these issues. This
is why such
skills
should be instilled from childhood by providing children
with a specific amount of weekly pocket money
. I believe this
approach will equip individuals with various strategies for solving financial problems in the future.
Giving children
a fixed amount of money
will help them learn essential money
management skills
. These skills
are developed through taking full control of how they use their money
, allowing children
to experience both good and bad financial choices. Each choice has its own lessons: making wise decisions can lead to long-term benefits, whereas
poor choices often result in regret. For example
, when a parent gives their child
ten dollars a week, the child
has two options: purchasing a book or renting a PlayStation game. If the child
opts to buy a book, they will benefit from the knowledge gained, whereas
renting a PlayStation may provide only temporary enjoyment.
Additionally
, children
can experiment with money
by learning how to make it grow. This
skill is crucial for their future, as adults often require more financial resources to meet their needs. A simple exercise for a child
could involve purchasing a low-cost item and then
selling it for a profit. Although
they may start small, this
practice can scale up as their budget increases over time.
In conclusion, children
can acquire valuable skills
that will help them manage financial challenges in the future by receiving a weekly allowance from their parents.Submitted by ivannizar on
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task achievement
While the essay provides a clear response to the question with relevant examples, adding more depth to the examples could enhance the argument. For instance, detailing specific financial strategies children could learn (e.g., saving, budgeting) would strengthen the response.
coherence cohesion
Your essay features a well-organized structure and smooth flow between paragraphs. To improve coherence further, consider using more transition phrases to link ideas more explicitly, which will make the argumentation clearer.
task achievement
The introduction effectively sets up the argument, clearly stating the position on the topic and outlining the essay’s main points.
task achievement
The examples provided in the body paragraphs, such as the choice between buying a book or renting a PlayStation game, are relatable and effectively illustrate your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a logical flow, with each paragraph building on the previous one, contributing to a cohesive overall argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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