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Band 5

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory jobs or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #situation #jobs #shortage #money #situations
These days,
people
's lifestyles are so varied from the past
also
,
people
 have different beliefs about positions.
For instance
, a group of the population think when we have bad situations like
ethier
Correct your spelling
either
 bad occupations or less money, it is important that we acknowledge them
while
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
ones
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
believe that we should change our positions to the best things. I subscribe to the second idea owing to the
fact
 that when we try and have an aim we can make alternatives in our
lives
. On the one hand, only if we experience bad happens, some global inhabitants believe that we have to accept them
due to
 the
fact
 that we cannot find the best things and we ought to live in present.
In other words
, if you have
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
show examples
careers
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career
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 and the results of
this
 job are less income and free time,
fewer entertainments
Fix the agreement mistake
less entertainment
show examples
, and so on,
then
 the best plan is not to worry about it and not want to alter it;
as a result
, accept it
due to
 the
fact
 that you cannot find the best one.
On the other hand
, a number of
people
 advise that we enhance the situation by our ability to how these changes are really small.
In addition
, when communities have
this
 idea about their
lives
, they try to change and when they are able to see fewer alternatives, they will become really happy; in
fact
, they try to do these works to have the
lives
 that they propose. To illustrate, we can see
people
 who are successful in our work start their work in
this
 way.
To sum up
, it is crucial that communities make a situation that helps them to improve really fast and we must not accept bad situations inasmuch as the whole of global citizens have to have good
lives
.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that you clarify the distinction between the two opposing views to make your argument more explicit.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your points. This will help provide a clearer, more comprehensive response.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow between paragraphs for better cohesion.
task achievement
The essay attempts to address both sides of the argument, which is crucial for a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly sets up the discussion and gives an overview of both viewpoints.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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