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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagram below show the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and how it looks now. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main feature, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below show the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and how it looks now. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main feature, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #floor #plan #library #years #summaries #information #feature #comparisons
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The below diagram
show
Change the verb form
shows
show examples
 the difference
of
Change preposition
between
show examples
 public
library before
Replace the word
libraries
show examples
 20 years
before
Rephrase
ago
show examples
 and now how
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the display of
library
 nowadays.The main thing difference recently is
computer
Add an article
a computer
the computer
show examples
room
,cafe,lecture
room
,
storytelling
Correct word choice
and storytelling
show examples
 events. First of
all
Add a comma
all,
show examples
 if we look at the chart before twenty years
library
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 4 rooms and 1 hall.Fisrt
room
 includes
cds
Correct your spelling
CDs
,videos,
computer
Correct word choice
and computer
show examples
 games at the top of adult fiction books
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the right side
also
have
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a
room
 for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children's books near
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
adult non-fiction books. At the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 portion of the
library
 there
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a 2
table
Fix the agreement mistake
tables
show examples
 and 16 chairs near
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the entrance.
Furthermore
,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the right side of the entrance there
as
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 enquiry desk
room
 and
with
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the left side there
as
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 a reading
room
. But nowadays, there are many changes in
central
Add an article
the central
a central
show examples
library
 but the main is the indication of
rooms
Fix the agreement mistake
room
show examples
 setting changes like the
installat
Correct your spelling
installed
 computers in the replacement of reading rooms
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 a tea
room
 for the people in the area of
enquiry
Correct article usage
the enquiry
show examples
 desk.
Moreover
,
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
remove
Wrong verb form
removed
show examples
 the chairs and tables from the centre of
library
Add an article
the library
show examples
. Everything in the
library
change
Correct subject-verb agreement
changes
show examples
 without entrance
are
Verb problem
and is
show examples
 the same in both. In conclusion, recently
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
big changes came in the
library
 from the past like
computer
Correct article usage
a computer
show examples
room
, cafe, lecture
room
also
 a tables and chair setting area.
Submitted by khastafojiii on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words library, room with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
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