IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

More and more families are choosing fast food over home-cooked meals. What are the reasons for this and how can they be addressed?

#families #food #meals
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Many households are turning to fast
food
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 rather than cooking at home.
This
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 essay believes the main reasons for choosing fast
food
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 over homemade
food
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 are the lack of
time
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 and expensive
ingredients
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 and suggests preparing meals in advance and subsidies to
farmers
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 to reduce the prices of
ingredients
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 as the most viable solutions. The main reasons for eating fast
food
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instead
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 of
home cooked
Add a hyphen
home-cooked
show examples
food
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 are scarcity of
time
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 and costly
ingredients
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. Since a lot of people are busy at work, they do not have enough
time
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 to cook and do grocery shopping. It is
therefore
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 more convenient for them to order something or get takeaway
food
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.
As well as
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this
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, some
ingredients
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 needed to cook can be very expensive. That’s why families sometimes tend to eat out in some fast
food
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 restaurants since it’s cheaper.
For example
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, in the United States fresh fruits and vegetables,
as well as
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, dairy
products
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 and meat are unaffordable to the majority of households,
whereas
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 fast
food
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 chains like McDonald’s offer 7$ combos. These can be solved by preparing meals one day before and providing special subsidies to local
farmers
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.
Firstly
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, pre-prepared semi-finished
products
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,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 cut vegetables,
fry
Wrong verb form
fried
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 meat
products
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 and
freeze in
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freeze-in
show examples
 containers are convenient for preparing dinner in a short
time
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 or heating in the microwave.
For example
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, meat cutlets, pelmeni, vareniki, pancake dough and cocktails.
Secondly
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, it is very important for the government to provide financial support to
farmers
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 who are engaged in growing agriculture for the population.
For example
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,
products
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 purchased at a
farmers
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' fair are healthier and fresher
,
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apply
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 and are
also
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 more accessible and cheaper for cooking at home. In conclusion, junk
food
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 is harmful to health
while
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 home-cooked
food
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 is much tastier and does not contain a huge amount of fat, which is good for health.
Submitted by moon2014angel on

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coherence cohesion
The coherence can be enhanced by ensuring smoother transitions between points. For example, linking the ideas of time scarcity and the cost of ingredients more explicitly can create a more logically flowing argument.
coherence cohesion
To improve cohesion, consider varying the sentence structure and using more sophisticated linking words. Words like 'furthermore', 'moreover', and 'however' can help in maintaining the reader's interest and connecting your ideas better.
task achievement
Though the essay meets the task response well, adding more depth to the points with further supporting examples or additional arguments can provide a more complex and rich response.
task achievement
The essay clearly addresses the task by identifying two key reasons why families choose fast food over home-cooked meals and providing feasible solutions.
task achievement
The examples used are relevant and effectively illustrate the points discussed. For instance, the comparison of food prices in the United States provides a concrete context that strengthens the argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a concise conclusion that wraps up the main points effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • On-the-go lifestyle
  • Nutritional value
  • Home-cooked
  • Health consequences
  • Obesity epidemic
  • Meal prep
  • Time management
  • Culinary skills
  • Processed foods
  • Dietary habits
  • Food marketing
  • Value meals
  • Economic factors
  • Lifestyle diseases
  • Cultural shifts
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