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Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's corree and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people's corree and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar graph illustrates the
hapits
Correct your spelling
habits
 of people who buy or drink
coffee
Use synonyms
 and tea in five different Australian cities over the
last
Linking Words
 week.
Overall
Linking Words
,
citizins
Correct your spelling
citizens
 who went to a cafe' for
coffee
Use synonyms
 or tea, had the highest
persentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 in all the cities except for
Adelaide
Use synonyms
 for the
last
Linking Words
 4 weeks.
Linking Words
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, people who
brought
Correct your spelling
bought
show examples
 fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 had the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
Use synonyms
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 individuals who bought instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 were in between. In Hobart, Sydney and Melbourne the
persentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of people who went to a cafe' were just above 60
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 in Brisban and
Adelaide
Use synonyms
, they
where
Correct your spelling
were
show examples
 around 55
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and 40
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 respectively. The percentage of citizens who bought instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 in the
last
Linking Words
 4 weeks
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 around 42
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in
both
Use synonyms
 Sydney and Melbourne,
while
Linking Words
 they reached around 33
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in
both
Use synonyms
 Brisban and
Adelaide
Use synonyms
,
Moreover
Linking Words
, they reached just below 40
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in Hobart. Individuals who bought instant
coffee
Use synonyms
 in
both
Use synonyms
 Hobart and Brisban were around 53
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 in
Adelaide
Use synonyms
 they reached up to 50
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,and they were below 50
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in
both
Use synonyms
 Sydney and Melbourne.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last, while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, adelaide, percent, both with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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