Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cell phone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

In the era of technology, a lot of
people
are getting their cell phones tracked and security cameras breached
while
they are unaware.
this
essay will examine why I think the disadvantages of the development of technology outweigh the advantages.
Firstly
, with everyone having cell phones and access to the
internet
, the number of explicit and inappropriate content has become significantly large.
Moreover
, access to the
internet
has caused
people
to get scammed as the number of fraudulent activities increase.
People
have started to misuse the
internet
by spreading misinformation which can cause mass panic and mislead
people
. Another disadvantage of technology is the addiction it causes which can cause
people
to get distracted very easily and get clouded from their goals
hence
, making them counter-productive.
Secondly
,
people
are being tracked through their cell phones and are not aware of it,
this
has caused many privacy concerns.
This
is
due to
the permissions
people
give to applications which can
then
, track them throughout the day.
This
issue has raised concerns for citizens who are affected by
this
situation.
Furthermore
,
this
information is
then
sold on the
internet
which can cause
people
to have their money extorted by them through means of harassment.
To conclude
, I think that the government should take strict actions and create stricter
cyber-laws
Correct your spelling
cyber laws
show examples
so that
people
can live without worrying. I
also
think that
people
should be well aware of these scams and should get their systems checked frequently for any information
that is
getting leaked and take
necessary
Add an article
the necessary
show examples
action as soon as possible.
Submitted by satyarthverma88 on

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task achievement
Ensure a clear and concise thesis statement in the introduction to guide the reader on the essay's main argument. Rephrase the introduction to avoid ambiguity.
task achievement
Provide specific real-life examples to bolster arguments. Examples make your points more convincing and relatable.
coherence cohesion
Use paragraphs effectively to organize ideas and ensure that each paragraph presents a single clear idea. This improves the essay's coherence.
coherence cohesion
Proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors and ensure proper punctuation and capitalization, which enhances readability and coherence.
task achievement
The essay presents relevant arguments and acknowledges the privacy concerns associated with modern technology usage.
task achievement
The conclusion effectively summarizes the essay’s main points and provides suggestions for addressing the issues discussed.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical progression of ideas, ensuring that the reader can follow the writer's train of thought.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Surveillance
  • 2. Monitoring
  • 3. Cell phone tracking
  • 4. Security cameras
  • 5. Public safety
  • 6. Law enforcement
  • 7. Privacy concerns
  • 8. Personal freedom
  • 9. Autonomous
  • 10. Breach of trust
  • 11. Misuse of information
  • 12. Institutional integrity
  • 13. Psychological impact
  • 14. Mental well-being
  • 15. Societal trust
  • 16. Paranoia
  • 17. Transparency
  • 18. Stringent regulations
  • 19. Criminal deterrence
  • 20. Apprehension of criminals
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