IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays many young people are going to other countries for their future. What are the reasons for it? How it will be in 30 years?

#people #countries #future #years
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In the present, many
youth
Use synonyms
 are willing to go to other countries to search for their luck,
such
Linking Words
 as
career
Correct article usage
a career
show examples
 or
education
Use synonyms
. One of
possible
Add an article
the possible
show examples
 reasons why
this
Linking Words
 trend can
be happen
Change the verb form
happen
show examples
 because their original
country
Use synonyms
 can not provide what the
Use synonyms
youth's
Change noun form
youth
show examples
 needs,
such
Linking Words
 as job fields. I predict that 30 years later,
this
Linking Words
 thing will significantly increase. I will elaborate
it
Change preposition
on it
show examples
 below. First
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
first,
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 go to study or work abroad because their first
country
Use synonyms
 could not give
what
Correct pronoun usage
them what
show examples
 the young
Use synonyms
people'
Change noun form
people
show examples
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, in my own
country
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, in
Indonesia
Add a comma
Indonesia,
show examples
 it is very hard to find a job that
linked
Add a missing verb
is linked
show examples
 with our major or qualification. So,
people
Use synonyms
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
here decided to search
jobs
Change preposition
for jobs
show examples
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 another
country
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. Not only that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 the quality of
education
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 in Indonesia is not really that good. To pursue a good quality of higher
education
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, they tend to apply for
scholarship
Fix the agreement mistake
scholarships
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they can get a better
education
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.
In other words
Linking Words
, the role of the
country
Use synonyms
 itself is really important for
youth
Use synonyms
 whether
theywill
Correct your spelling
they will
 have
career
Add an article
a career
show examples
 in their
country
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 or in another state. Based on
this
Linking Words
 explanation. I believe that
people
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 will
more
Add a missing verb
be more
show examples
 and more interested to out
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their
country
Use synonyms
 for their future.
This
Linking Words
 is
due to
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
think
Wrong verb form
thinking
show examples
 if they are going to another
country
Use synonyms
, there will be a lot of opportunity to take. To illustrate, they can have a job that
linear
Add a missing verb
is linear
show examples
 with their capabilities. By
this
Linking Words
, they can gain higher incomes. So that,
people
Use synonyms
 will more engage to going abroad.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
inability
Add an article
the inability
show examples
 of a
country
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 to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 citizen's needs make young
people
Use synonyms
 want to leave their
country
Use synonyms
. They are eager to
looking
Change the verb
look
show examples
 for a better life in other countries. Because of that, in the future, it is inevitable that the number of
people
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are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
going abroad
more
Verb problem
will be
show examples
high
Replace the word
higher
show examples
. But, as long as the government of the
country
Use synonyms
 can take responsibility
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
this
Linking Words
, it is still possible to make
youth
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to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
stay in the
country
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by wishmeluck  on

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writing
To further improve your essay, make sure to carefully proofread your work to avoid grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and article usage.
content
Develop your ideas more deeply by providing additional specific examples and explanations to support your main points.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are present and clearly outline the main argument of the essay.
content
You have addressed the essay prompt thoroughly, discussing both the reasons for young people moving abroad and predicting future trends.
structure
Paragraphs have distinct ideas and are logically organized, which aids in the readability and flow of the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • migration
  • educational facilities
  • employment prospects
  • quality of life
  • political climates
  • cultural exposure
  • global networking
  • professional development
  • standard of living
  • healthcare system
What to do next:
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