Your university is conducting a survey to know how many work hurs should be permitted to students i n a week time. The university has sent out an opinion survey to see what students think about it. weekly hours for students: Option A: Less than 15 hours per week in a single job Option B: More than 20 hours per week with all multiple jobs hours added.
I consider that limited
work
hours
per week focused on one job will more
beneficial to Add a missing verb
be more
students
than spending more than 20 hours
with multiple jobs. Despite the fact that the
option B offers more practical and financial benefits Correct article usage
apply
the
option B still Correct article usage
apply
preserve
a healthy balance between academic and personal life.
Preserving a Correct subject-verb agreement
preserves
work
-life balance is paramout
being Correct your spelling
paramount
an
Change the article
a
full
Add a hyphen
full-time
time
student since you requieres
a high level of Correct your spelling
requires
require
time
management skill
. Limiting Fix the agreement mistake
skills
work
hours
helps students
to be focused on their obligations such
us
Correct your spelling
as
assignements
, Correct your spelling
assignments
examaninations
, and projects. Based on my personal experience, working Correct your spelling
examinations
part
Add a hyphen
part-time
time
allows you to have a life balance between being a worker, wife, an
student. Correct your spelling
and
In contrast
, if students
work
more than 20 hours
, they won't be able to do extra curricular
activities, social interactions or enjoy Correct your spelling
extracurricular
your
journey as Correct pronoun usage
their
an
student.
Change the article
a
Moreover
, the stress level factor is crucial for the
mental health, Correct article usage
apply
thus
working part
Add a hyphen
part-time
time
will be more benefitial
than full Correct your spelling
beneficial
time
. Studying and workings
at the same Correct your spelling
working
time
might be pretty demanding, but also
stressfull
since a person would like to show Correct your spelling
stressful
up
a great performance in both roles.
These Change preposition
apply
were
the main reasons why I strongly consider that Wrong verb form
are
students
should work
less than 15 hours
per week outside the campus. Finally
, I appreciatte
the Correct your spelling
appreciate
oportunity
to provide my input regarding Correct your spelling
opportunity
this
concern.Submitted by mariajoser3 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
To better achieve the task, ensure all points are comprehensively covered with sufficient depth and detail.
task achievement
Try to reduce grammatical errors to improve the clarity of your message.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving sentence and paragraph structuring to enhance the overall flow and readability of your essay.
task achievement
Your essay clearly addresses the prompt and provides a clear stance on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in presenting a rounded argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!