IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In school or universities, girls prefer subjects related to art and boys prefer subjects related science. Should this tendency be changed? What is your opinion

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Most people think that in the institutes the females' preference is studying arts subjects
in contrast
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 to another sex like to follow science. In my personal view,
this
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 belief has to change owing to the fact that factors like gender equality and studying without sex affect the need to hold on . On the one hand, we live in a new era, when females have the same effect on the development of society, industries, and so forth as men;
additionally
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, if women are not leaders, most companies or governments are not successful in their work or governing.
Consequently
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, they have to break the traditional beliefs namely gender stereotypes follow the advanced alternatives and choose the subjects that they like without any limiters which promote gender equality.
On the other hand
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, It is essential that encourage individual interests and community study in the subjects that they like and have talent in there.
In addition
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, we can see in the modern era, a lot of boys like to follow the arts or literacy;
whereas
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, a lot of women are the best persons who have a new plan for developing science in all aspects.
For example
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, Maryam Mirzakhanie was the best woman, who obtained the Fildes medal
,
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apply
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 and changed some theories in math.
To sum up
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, in my opinion, studying in the surroundings that sexes are not necessary items for following the elements that they like is the best one on account of the fact that populations have the best selection
that is
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 similar to their skills and ability.

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task achievement
Make sure your points are supported with more concrete examples or evidence to enhance the persuasiveness and clarity of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Structure your paragraphs to include clear topic sentences and ensure each paragraph conveys a distinct main idea related to the theme.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion clearly state and wrap up your viewpoint on the gender preferences in education.
complete response
You have attempted to tackle a broad aspect by discussing gender equality and individual preferences, which adds depth to your essay.
logical structure
The essay presents a clear division of ideas by suggesting solutions to gender stereotypes and encouraging individual interests.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender stereotypes
  • educational choices
  • irrespective
  • gender barriers
  • diverse educational background
  • traditionally dominated fields
  • promoting gender equality
  • encouraging individual interests
  • breaking down barriers
  • altering perceptions
  • interdisciplinary approach
  • cultivating an inclusive environment
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