The pictures of pie charts and table show information about average income and spending on food and clothes by an average family in a city in the UK.
The process diagram illustrates the production of orange
juice
.
Overall
, it can be seen from the process diagram of orange juice
collected from fresh oranges and sold to the shops after undergoing different processes.
It is conspicuous that firstly
the fresh oranges were transported to the factory by lorries before they were extracted these were washed with fresh water to remove dust particles. Secondly
, the extracted juice
is sent for packaging after sorting in different sizes and transported to the shops. Further
, the solid waste of oranges such
as seeds and skin sent for consumption to live stocks.
probing ahead, nextly, the fresh juice
is sent by the refrigerator trucks for further
evaporation of water so it converts to concentrated juice
. Next,
the concentrated juice
is filled into the big cans and again it is sent to the warehouse for storage. Moreover
, the juice
contained in cans is mixed with water in the factory so it can be ready for packaging after that process the bottles are sent to the supermarket for consumers.Submitted by rbtech65 on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words juice with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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