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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pictures of pie charts and table show information about average income and spending on food and clothes by an average family in a city in the UK.

The pictures of pie charts and table show information about average income and spending on food and clothes by an average family in a city in the UK.
#pictures #show #information #income #food #clothes #city #uk
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The process diagram illustrates the production of orange
juice
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen from the process diagram of orange
juice
Use synonyms
 collected from fresh oranges and sold to the shops after undergoing different processes. It is conspicuous that
firstly
Linking Words
 the fresh oranges were transported to the factory by lorries before they were extracted these were washed with fresh water to remove dust particles.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the extracted
juice
Use synonyms
 is sent for packaging after sorting in different sizes and transported to the shops.
Further
Linking Words
, the solid waste of oranges
such
Linking Words
 as seeds and skin sent for consumption to live stocks. probing ahead, nextly, the fresh
juice
Use synonyms
 is sent by the refrigerator trucks for
further
Linking Words
 evaporation of water so it converts to concentrated
juice
Use synonyms
.
Next,
Linking Words
the concentrated
juice
Use synonyms
 is filled into the big cans and again it is sent to the warehouse for storage.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
juice
Use synonyms
 contained in cans is mixed with water in the factory so it can be ready for packaging after that process the bottles are sent to the supermarket for consumers.
Submitted by rbtech65 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words juice with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "diagram" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • average income
  • spending habits
  • proportion
  • cost of living
  • economic changes
  • cultural factors
  • standard of living
  • economic health
  • leftover income
  • savings
  • expenses
  • financial trends
  • value for money
  • economic forecasts
  • significant increase/decrease
  • spending patterns
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