IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Over the
last
Linking Words
 few years, more and more specialists, like doctors and educators, have been relocating from their poor
countries
Use synonyms
 to developed
countries
Use synonyms
 to get better work.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the main problems of brain drain,
such
Linking Words
 as a
country
Use synonyms
's increasing poverty and lack of talent development and propose solutions including investing in small businesses and offering benefits to skilled workers.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, one main problem that can arise is that
countries
Use synonyms
 might not experience
further
Linking Words
 economic development and become poorer.
In other words
Linking Words
, as professionals do not work for the
country
Use synonyms
 and do not make contributions with innovations, the
country
Use synonyms
 may stagnate. At the same time, the second problem could be that the younger will not get proper education because there will not be qualified teachers.
For instance
Linking Words
, a recent study showed that the outflow of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
doctors from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
India caused problems with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medical services and the health of citizens worsened.
Additionally
Linking Words
, in the example of African
countries
Use synonyms
 the graduates do not get enough knowledge. Some possible solutions to these problems are allocating funds for the development of the business sector and supporting talented people with rewards. If the government supported small businesses through tax reduction, it would create jobs,
consequently
Linking Words
, it would enhance the economy.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the motivation of the residents to work will increase.
Also
Linking Words
, until the state provides support
such
Linking Words
 as career opportunities and high salaries, there will be
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 loss of competent educators who can bring up talented students. In some
countries
Use synonyms
, teaching is a well-paid and respected profession, which effectively encourages people to stay rather than move abroad. In conclusion, the reduction of specialists negatively impacts the
country
Use synonyms
 from which they emigrate.
However
Linking Words
, the government can stop it by creating opportunities for talented people and mitigate the effect by investing in enterprises.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the topic and covers both problems and solutions related to the issue. However, providing more specific examples or statistics could further strengthen your argument, particularly in relation to the economic impact and educational challenges.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has a logical structure and flows coherently, you may want to work on improving transitions between points to enhance readability. Employing more varied connectors and cohesive devices could benefit your writing.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction is concise and clearly outlines what the essay will discuss, which sets a clear direction for the reader.
supported main points
Your main points are clear and well-supported with relevant explanations, making your arguments persuasive.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Brain drain
  • Skilled professionals
  • Healthcare systems
  • Education systems
  • Economic growth
  • Dependency on foreign aid
  • Social inequality
  • Quality healthcare
  • Quality education
  • Retain talent
  • International cooperation
  • Sustainable growth
  • Scholarships
  • Professional development
  • Remote work capabilities
  • Local research funding
What to do next:
Look at other essays: