The chart below shows the amount spent on six consumer goods in four European countries. The amount spent is in hundred thousand pounds. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and

#amount #six #consumer #goods #four #european #countries #thousand #pounds #information #features

A glance at the provided column graph depicts the quantity of expenditure on six

products

(personal stereos, tennis racquets, perfumes, CDs, toys and photographic film) in four different countries.

Overall

, Brits spent more money in comparison with the other countries on highlighted

products

. In stark contrast, individuals who are from Germany spend the lowest amount of money on these

products

. Photographic films are the most popular goods among the mentioned goods in Britain, France and

also

Italy.

In addition

, over a staggering 160 thousand pounds was spent in Britain and France on photographic films.

Although

a significant amount of money that French, British and Italian spent on toys, films, and CDs, Germans merely spent approximately 140 thousand pounds on these. it is noticeable that all

products

follow a similar trend that Britain is the first in terms of expenditure. The lower budget can be seen

thatrelated

Verb problem

as related

show examples

to the personal stereos and tennis racquets.

Furthermore

, none of the

mentionedcountries

Correct your spelling

mentioned countries

could not reach 160 thousand pounds.

Submitted by speher2000behroozifar on Fri Aug 30 2024

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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.

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Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words products with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the seventh paragraph.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

164 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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