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Band 5.5

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

#countries #home #people #be #case #situation
Possessing a property is considered crucial, compared with renting from owners, in some states. I contend that
this
 perception occurs
due to
 the importance of tangible assets.
Also
, I believe that it is a negative tendency because properties are not necessarily attainable for low and
middle income
Add a hyphen
middle-income
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 populations, and it may create a social pressure of
labeling
Change the spelling
labelling
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people
 without
a
Remove the article
apply
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property as a 'failure'. Ownership is always advantageous for individuals because it allows
people
 to obtain a certain amount of money when financial circumstances become worse by selling what is theirs.
That is
 to say, properties,
such
 as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
show examples
, can always be converted into other forms of assets.
On the contrary
,
people
 renting a flat cannot mobilise their temporary
asset
Fix the agreement mistake
assets
show examples
 because it belongs to
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 owner.
This
 fluidity is the reason why ownership is predominantly preferred over the renting procedure. I believe that it is a profound social issue because
this
 propensity may generate a stigma against
people
 without owning a
home
. In reality, possessing a
home
 requires a considerable amount of money, which is not available for the majority of the population.
For instance
, in developed countries,
such
 as Australia and Canada, it is increasingly difficult to purchase a
home
due to
 exceeding demands and the subordinate rise of the price.
Hence
, I assert that the public sentiment of preferring ownership is a negative trend. Possessing a
home
 is regarded
paramount
Change preposition
as paramount
show examples
 because it enables owners to mobilise the asset whenever they want.
Nonetheless
, I argue that
this
 is a negative tendency because it creates a social pressure of owning a house,
although
 those properties are getting increasingly expensive.
Submitted by 20dm056e on

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coherence and cohesion
To make your essay even stronger, provide clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide readers through your main points. This will enhance the cohesion.
task achievement
It would be beneficial to include specific statistics or examples to support your argument, particularly when discussing affordability in countries like Australia and Canada.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clearly defined introduction and conclusion, which frames the discussion well.
task achievement
The main ideas are thoroughly developed and supported with reasoning, which answers the question effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
What to do next:
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