In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

#countries #home #people #be #case #situation

Possessing a property is considered crucial, compared with renting from owners, in some states. I contend that

this

perception occurs

due to

the importance of tangible assets.

Also

, I believe that it is a negative tendency because properties are not necessarily attainable for low and

middle income

Add a hyphen

middle-income

show examples

populations, and it may create a social pressure of

labeling

Change the spelling

labelling

show examples

people

without

Remove the article

apply

show examples

property as a 'failure'. Ownership is always advantageous for individuals because it allows

people

to obtain a certain amount of money when financial circumstances become worse by selling what is theirs.

That is

to say, properties,

such

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

house

Fix the agreement mistake

houses

show examples

, can always be converted into other forms of assets.

On the contrary

people

renting a flat cannot mobilise their temporary

asset

Fix the agreement mistake

assets

show examples

because it belongs to

Change the article

show examples

owner.

This

fluidity is the reason why ownership is predominantly preferred over the renting procedure. I believe that it is a profound social issue because

this

propensity may generate a stigma against

people

without owning a

home

. In reality, possessing a

home

requires a considerable amount of money, which is not available for the majority of the population.

For instance

, in developed countries,

such

as Australia and Canada, it is increasingly difficult to purchase a

home

due to

exceeding demands and the subordinate rise of the price.

Hence

, I assert that the public sentiment of preferring ownership is a negative trend. Possessing a

home

is regarded

paramount

Change preposition

as paramount

show examples

because it enables owners to mobilise the asset whenever they want.

Nonetheless

, I argue that

this

is a negative tendency because it creates a social pressure of owning a house,

although

those properties are getting increasingly expensive.

Submitted by 20dm056e on Fri Aug 30 2024

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coherence and cohesion

To make your essay even stronger, provide clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide readers through your main points. This will enhance the cohesion.

task achievement

It would be beneficial to include specific statistics or examples to support your argument, particularly when discussing affordability in countries like Australia and Canada.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clearly defined introduction and conclusion, which frames the discussion well.

task achievement

The main ideas are thoroughly developed and supported with reasoning, which answers the question effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

270 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

7.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

7.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

ownership
renting
importance
sense of security
stability
financial investment
asset
customize
decorate
belonging
community
potential
future generations
long-term
cost advantage
control
living space

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In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Include an introduction and conclusion

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Nowadays, many people have access to computers and a large number of children enjoy playing video games. What are the advantages and disadvantages of playing video games for children？

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