IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many people around the world use social media every day to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Social
media
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 has become an integral part of modern life, with billions of
people
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 around the world using
such
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 platforms to stay connected with others and updated on current events.
While
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 social
media
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 undoubtedly offers numerous
advantages
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 in terms of connectivity and information dissemination,
this
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 essay argues that the risks it carries are more significant. On the positive side, social
media
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 has revolutionized how we communicate and connect with others. Services
such
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 as Facebook and WhatsApp allow us to easily keep in touch with friends and family, regardless of geographic distance. These applications have
also
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 facilitated the formation of online communities, enabling
people
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 with shared interests or experiences to connect and support one another in a more convenient manner than in the past. Regarding
news
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 updates, social
media
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 has become a powerful tool for sharing information in
real-time
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real time
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, unlike traditional
news
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 sources like newspapers or television. By way of illustration, X, formerly called Twitter, has a section displaying trending topics, allowing
people
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 to stay informed and engaged with current affairs as they unfold.
Nonetheless
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, these
advantages
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 are minor compared to the concerning drawbacks of social
media
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. One major threat is the potential for social
media
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 usage to negatively impact mental health, particularly among younger users. Communication on social channels often involves being exposed to curated representations of others' lives, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy, low self-esteem, and mental health issues like depression or anxiety. Another issue to consider is that social
media
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 has been implicated in the spread of misinformation, online harassment, cyberbullying, and privacy concerns, posing risks to individuals' well-being, safety, and trust in credible information sources.
This
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 is exemplified by the numerous
news
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 stories about
people
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 engaging in antisocial
behaviors
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behaviours
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 after being influenced by fake
news
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 on social networks. In conclusion,
while
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 social
media
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 offers
advantages
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 in socializing and receiving
news
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, its disadvantages, including negative impacts on mental health, the spread of misinformation, online harassment, and privacy concerns, are substantial. Given these concerns, I believe that the disadvantages of social
media
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 usage ultimately overshadow its
advantages
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.

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task achievement
To enhance the task achievement score, consider adding more relevant and specific examples to support your points. This can provide stronger evidence and make your argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within the paragraph support this idea. This will make your logical structure even more robust.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame the argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
Main points are well-supported with coherent arguments, which enhances the overall persuasiveness of the essay.
task achievement
The response is complete and addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of social media, providing a balanced view.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • facilitate
  • geographically separated
  • fostering
  • connectivity
  • instant communication
  • real-time information
  • misinformation
  • rigorous checks and balances
  • fake news
  • addictive nature
  • detract
  • face-to-face interactions
  • mental health
  • awareness of limitations
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