Young adults are now choosing to wait until later in life, often until they are in their 30s, to settle down and get married. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?
In
this
contemporary world, it is confirmed that more and more young people
are choosing to wait until they reach middle age
before getting married. The main advantages of this
are that they can save a substantial amount of money and give a good education to the child
, while
health
deteriorates with age
and it is better to give birth
early.
Firstly
, it is confirmed that the late birth
of a child
is beneficial for both the child
and the adult. Adults under 30 years of age
can obtain a higher education and find their calling, which will greatly facilitate their lives in our world. Moreover
, people
can save a significant amount of money and purchase a home and a car. Also
, with age
, they approach this
issue more consciously, understanding the whole responsibility of having a kid. In other words
, people
provide themselves and their children with everything vital for a comfortable life.
The crucial disadvantage of this
problem is that health
is worsened with age
. The later a person gives birth
, the worse it is for her health
and the health
of the unborn child
. What is more, with age
, physical and spiritual strength goes away. Specifically, at the age
of 40, a person is no longer as strong morally as at 20 years old. People
over 40 already want to rest, relax and not have unnecessary problems. Overall
, giving birth
later is harmful to the health
of the public.
In conclusion, while
the late birth
of a child
brings benefits for their great future, I would also
believe that it harms health
, both moral and physical.Submitted by halilova039 on
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task achievement
While your main points are clearly presented, expanding on them with more specific examples or data would strengthen your argument and make your essay more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Transitions between your advantages and disadvantages could be made clearer to enhance coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structure to improve readability. Simple and complex sentences can be mixed more evenly to maintain reader interest.
coherence and cohesion
Try to avoid repetition of words and phrases; using synonyms or rephrasing can make your essay more engaging and less monotonous.
general
Your introduction clearly states the topic and your position, which sets a solid foundation for the essay.
task achievement
You have included both advantages and disadvantages, thus addressing the prompt comprehensively.
general
The conclusion effectively summarizes your arguments and restates your position, providing a sense of closure.