Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?
Recently, the style of the interaction of individuals with others has been changed
as a result
of recent innovations. With rapid
change Add an article
the rapid
of
Change preposition
in
technology
, people
interaction has been affected. Nowadays, they can reach people
easily with online calls and follow the
Correct article usage
apply
people
’s life
easily on social mediaFix the agreement mistake
lives
which
. I believe that Correct pronoun usage
apply
technology
has positive effects on our lives
.
Thanks To technology
, people
has
more Change the verb form
have
connection
Fix the agreement mistake
connections
then
past. Correct your spelling
the
In
Change preposition
During
corona
pandemic, Correct your spelling
the coronavirus
number
of online meeting platforms has been raised, Change the article
a number
the number
after
that development these platforms started to be used commonly. Nowadays, Correct word choice
and after
people
can work from abroad, they do not have to be even in same
country Change the article
the same
with
their employer, which was impossible in past. Thanks to rapid innovation I work with Germany from Turkey. Change preposition
as
Additionally
in social networks people
can share their private or professional life. It can help to stay in contact whit
old Correct your spelling
with
friend
or important individuals. Fix the agreement mistake
friends
For example
, I have a friend from primary school who lives
IN another city, since we cannot meet often we can stay in contact when we share our lives
in
social media, Change preposition
on
such
as Instagram, LinkedIn etc.
Technology
has a positive effects
on our Correct the article-noun agreement
a positive effect
positive effects
lives
. And it is very excited
that it is Replace the word
exciting
continue
to Wrong verb form
continuing
developing
. Change the form of the verb
develop
Technology
has already great benefits IN our lives
. When people
know how to use technology
efficiently to interact with others , they can take great advantage from
it. Change preposition
of
Which
can Correct pronoun usage
This
causes have
Verb problem
create
a good jobs
Correct the article-noun agreement
a good job
good jobs
,
Correct word choice
and, wider
wider
social friend environment.
Correct article usage
a wider
To sum
up
Add a comma
up,
people
can connect easily and develop their relationships thanks to recent innovations. When they know how to use
, they will take great advantage of Correct pronoun usage
use it
technology
.Submitted by xxxx17
on
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task achievement
Your essay covers the main points of the task effectively, and your stance is clear. To achieve a higher score, make sure all sentences are grammatically correct and all ideas are fully developed. For instance, the second paragraph could include more varied examples and deeper analysis.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is mostly clear. To improve coherence and cohesion, use more varied linking words and better transitions between ideas. Some sentences could be rewritten for better flow. For example, 'Thanks to rapid innovation I work with Germany from Turkey' can be improved to 'Thanks to rapid innovations in technology, I can work for a company in Germany while living in Turkey.'
coherence cohesion
Work on improving grammatical structures and reducing small inaccuracies. For instance, 'people has more connection' should be 'people have more connection,' and 'Thanks to technology' should not have the 'to' capitalized.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provide a good structure.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your main points, such as the use of online meeting platforms during the pandemic and staying in touch with friends through social media.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.