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Band 5

Some people in think that government should support artists like painters, musicians and poets while others believe this wastes money. DIscuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #government #support #artists #painters #musicians #poets #wastes #money
The topic of
government
support
 for
artists
, including painters, musicians and poets , is a subject of debate.
While
 some argue that
such
support
 is significant to nurture culture and creativity, others believe that it is merely a waste of public funds. In my view,
government
 backing for
artists
 is crucial for fostering a thriving cultural landscape.
To begin
 with, supporting
artists
 through public funding has several advantages. First and foremost, it helps preserve and promote the
nation
's cultural heritage. Art, in its various
froms
Correct your spelling
forms
, serves as a mirror to
society
,
reflectings
Correct your spelling
reflecting
show examples
 its values, achievements and struggles.
Therefore
, without adequate
support
 many talented
artists
 may struggle and the cultural richness of
society
 could suffer
as a result
.
On the other hand
, opponents argue that supporting
artists
 is an extensive unnecessary drain on public finances, that could be better allocated somewhere else
such
 as
healthcare
Correct article usage
the healthcare
show examples
 and education sectors. They strongly believe that an artist should be
self-sufficent
Correct your spelling
self-sufficient
, and their work should
stan
Correct your spelling
stand
show examples
 on its own merit in the open market like all other occupations. In my opinion, The benefits of
government
support
 for
artists
 far outweigh the drawbacks.A thriving arts sector contributes significantly to a
nation
's cultural identity, attracts tourism, and provides intangible benefits to
society
, including inspiration, creativity , and a sense of belonging.
While
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 important to ensure that public funds are used wisely, depriving the arts of
government
support
 would be a disservice to culture and preservation of a
nation
's artistic heritage.
Therefore
 , I firmly believe that
government
shoud
Correct your spelling
should
 continue to back
artists
, recognizing the profound value they bring to
society
. In conclusion, the debate over
government
support
 for
artists
 is a contentious one , with valid
arguements
Correct your spelling
arguments
 on both sides.
However
, it is my firm belief that
such
support
 is an essential investment in a
natioin's
Correct your spelling
nation's
 cultural richness and creative vitality. The benefits of nurturing
artists
 through grants, subsidies, and public recognition far outweigh the potential drawbacks, ensuring the preservation of a
nation
's cultural identity.
Submitted by pranav.dhawan28 on

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or case studies to support your points. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Work on polishing minor grammatical errors and typos. Even small inaccuracies can slightly affect the clarity and professionalism of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your discussion well.
coherence cohesion
Your arguments are generally well-structured and logically organized, making it easy for the reader to follow your line of reasoning.
task achievement
You addressed both views on the topic and provided your opinion, which shows a complete response to the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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