IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people in think that government should support artists like painters, musicians and poets while others believe this wastes money. DIscuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #government #support #artists #painters #musicians #poets #wastes #money
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The topic of
government
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support
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 for
artists
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, including painters, musicians and poets , is a subject of debate.
While
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 some argue that
such
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support
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 is significant to nurture culture and creativity, others believe that it is merely a waste of public funds. In my view,
government
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 backing for
artists
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 is crucial for fostering a thriving cultural landscape.
To begin
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 with, supporting
artists
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 through public funding has several advantages. First and foremost, it helps preserve and promote the
nation
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's cultural heritage. Art, in its various
froms
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forms
, serves as a mirror to
society
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,
reflectings
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reflecting
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 its values, achievements and struggles.
Therefore
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, without adequate
support
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 many talented
artists
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 may struggle and the cultural richness of
society
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 could suffer
as a result
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.
On the other hand
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, opponents argue that supporting
artists
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 is an extensive unnecessary drain on public finances, that could be better allocated somewhere else
such
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 as
healthcare
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the healthcare
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 and education sectors. They strongly believe that an artist should be
self-sufficent
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self-sufficient
, and their work should
stan
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stand
show examples
 on its own merit in the open market like all other occupations. In my opinion, The benefits of
government
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support
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 for
artists
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 far outweigh the drawbacks.A thriving arts sector contributes significantly to a
nation
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's cultural identity, attracts tourism, and provides intangible benefits to
society
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, including inspiration, creativity , and a sense of belonging.
While
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its
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it's
it is
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 important to ensure that public funds are used wisely, depriving the arts of
government
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support
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 would be a disservice to culture and preservation of a
nation
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's artistic heritage.
Therefore
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 , I firmly believe that
government
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shoud
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should
 continue to back
artists
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, recognizing the profound value they bring to
society
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. In conclusion, the debate over
government
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support
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 for
artists
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 is a contentious one , with valid
arguements
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arguments
 on both sides.
However
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, it is my firm belief that
such
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support
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 is an essential investment in a
natioin's
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nation's
 cultural richness and creative vitality. The benefits of nurturing
artists
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 through grants, subsidies, and public recognition far outweigh the potential drawbacks, ensuring the preservation of a
nation
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's cultural identity.
Submitted by pranav.dhawan28 on

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or case studies to support your points. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Work on polishing minor grammatical errors and typos. Even small inaccuracies can slightly affect the clarity and professionalism of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame your discussion well.
coherence cohesion
Your arguments are generally well-structured and logically organized, making it easy for the reader to follow your line of reasoning.
task achievement
You addressed both views on the topic and provided your opinion, which shows a complete response to the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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