In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative
In various growing tendency
countries
more Add a comma
countries,
people
prefer to live on their own than they did it
Correct your spelling
in
past
. Correct article usage
the past
This
essay agrees that it is a negative trend because it leads to the loss of values and may cause different mental problems.
On the one hand, it may firstly
seem that living alone has many advantages, but it is obvious that they do not outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
dismerits
Correct your spelling
demerits
such
as lack of moral and family values in the
society. From Correct article usage
apply
the
ancient times Correct article usage
apply
the
family Correct article usage
apply
institution
played a crucial role in Fix the agreement mistake
institutions
Correct article usage
the lifes
lifes
of different Correct your spelling
lives
people
. That stayed the same for a very long period of time. Having a family controls decisions
which we make in our Correct article usage
the decisions
live
, as Replace the word
lives
people
who are not alone understand that have have to think not only about themselves,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
stand by their families. Most of the people
who have family have better morals and lifestyle
, Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
while
most of the individuals who are alone are more likely to commit crimes, harm, take drugs and so on. For example
, statictics
provided by the Ministry of Justice in Correct your spelling
statistics
Russian
Federation Correct article usage
the Russian
demonstrates
that 71.8% of criminals are lonely Correct subject-verb agreement
demonstrate
people
.
However
, loneliness may also
cause mental illnesses, such
as depression. Most of the times
, Fix the agreement mistake
time
people
who choose to live alone do so not because they want it, but because they have no other opportunity. But if they were given chance
to live happily with their partners, parents or children, most of them would choose that. They mostly feel hardship since they have no one Correct article usage
a chance
whom
they can talk about their problems, Change preposition
to whom
needs
or even to share happiness, good news and so on, which Correct word choice
and needs
consequently
leads to depression. Recent researches from Columbia University show that 75.5% of people
who suffer from depression are lonely people
.
In conclusion, this
essays
strongly believes thatFix the agreement mistake
essay
Correct article usage
the
of
Change preposition
to
leaving
alone is a negative trend owing to Verb problem
live
loss
of values and Correct article usage
the loss
occurrence
of mental issues.Correct article usage
the occurrence
Submitted by i.nureddinn on
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grammar vocabulary
Consider refining your grammar and vocabulary usage to ensure clarity and precision in your essay. For example, phrases like 'it may firstly seem' can be improved to 'at first glance, it may seem.'
relevance specificity
Ensure that your main points are supported with more specific and detailed examples. For example, instead of broadly stating statistics from the Ministry of Justice, provide more context or explanations about how loneliness correlates with crime rates.
structure clarity
Your essay has a clear structure with a well-defined introduction and conclusion, which effectively frames your argument.
complete response
You have addressed the essay prompt comprehensively, discussing both the negative aspects of living alone and supporting your arguments with examples.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?