Convenience food will become increasingly prevalent and replace by traditional food preparaation. To waht extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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Convenience
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food
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will be increasingly
on
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in
show examples
demand and
eventually
Add a comma
eventually,
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people
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might replace home-made
food
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for
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with
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canned
food
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.
This
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essays completely disagree with
this
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statement because convenient
food
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has too many conservatives
such
Linking Words
Use synonyms
salt
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as salt
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that might hurt
people
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's health, and
this
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type of
food
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has no natural nutrients at all. One thing that
this
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essay totally
disagree
Correct subject-verb agreement
disagrees
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is
Change preposition
with is
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that having too much
salt
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on
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in
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food
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is unhealthy because
this
Linking Words
might hurt
people
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's health, so it is crucial to avoid
convenience
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food
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.
To begin
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with,
convenience
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food
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might be addictive for individuals because it has artificial
flavors
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flavours
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and
salt
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, so for many
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people
Add a comma
people,
show examples
this
Linking Words
is very addictive, and they become obsessive eaters.
Beside
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Besides
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this
Linking Words
, the vast majority of society is suffering from
obese
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obesity
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, and many
people
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are being diagnosed with chronic diseases.
for instance
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, In the United States, many
people
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are obese because they love to buy
convenience
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food
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such
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as hamburgers, hot dogs and salty
staff
Correct your spelling
stuff
show examples
.
Second
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The second
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point that I disagree with
this
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type of
food
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is that
convenience
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food
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does not have nutrients to help our
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
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grow and heal because canned
food
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is made with artificial products. On top of that, the taste is not the same as organic
food
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or real
food
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, so the appearance of
convenience
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food
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is unrealistic and with artificial
colors
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colours
show examples
that might hurt our body system.
to
Capitalize word
To
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explain my point,
McDonald
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McDonald's
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adds
Correct your spelling
ads
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are made with plastic meat and carton bread that are painted with Brillant
colors
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colours
show examples
to make the add more attractive to customers, so
this
Linking Words
type of
food
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is unhealthy to see and consume. In conclusion,
convenience
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food
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should not be consumed by humans to protect their health because it has too many conservatives like
salt
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, and the ingredients are not
naturals
Fix the agreement mistake
natural
show examples
. Knowing
this
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people
Use synonyms
might think twice before putting a hamburger in their mouth.
Submitted by cuevas14dic on

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Grammar
Ensure to proofread your essay to correct minor grammatical errors and typos, such as 'conservatives' instead of 'preservatives' and 'obese' instead of 'obesity'.
Coherence
Strengthen the logical structure of your arguments by providing a clearer connection between the points made and the main argument of each paragraph. For example, explicitly link the presence of salt and artificial colors to why traditional food is a better option.
Evidence
Provide more specific and relevant examples to further substantiate your points. For instance, citing specific studies or data on health impacts of preservatives in convenience foods will lend stronger support to your argument.
Introduction
You effectively introduce the topic and clearly state your stance in the introduction.
Conclusion
The conclusion succinctly summarises your main points and reinforces your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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