Some people say that governments should pay for public health care and education, while others say that it is not governments’ responsibility. Please discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is true that in
this
day and age, opinion is divided over whether governments ought to pay public Linking Words
health
Use synonyms
care
fees and education. In Use synonyms
this
essay, I will look at both sides of Linking Words
this
debate Linking Words
as well as
offer my own point of view.
Turning first of all to the arguments in favour of Linking Words
this
idea, it goes without saying that even the Linking Words
government
afford the money for Use synonyms
health
Use synonyms
care
, it relies on patients' daily Use synonyms
health
Use synonyms
care
. Use synonyms
For instance
, tooth decay is caused by not brushing their teeth completely. At the same time, if the Linking Words
government
pays the fee for Use synonyms
health
Use synonyms
care
and tuition the Use synonyms
government
need to collect the money from the tax which will lead to a tax rise. Use synonyms
Linking Words
Further more
, Correct your spelling
Furthermore
Use synonyms
government
might need to use the Add an article
the government
budgets
Fix the agreement mistake
budget
on
technology improvement or other Change preposition
for
oppertunities
.
As far as the other side of Correct your spelling
opportunities
this
debate is concerned, it goes without saying that if the Linking Words
government
give financial support with medical and education, the number of homeless might decrease which may lead to public safety. It may Use synonyms
also
be worth noting that individual can spend their money on other resources Linking Words
such
as hobbies or amuses which might connect to improve their quality of life.
By way of conclusion, from the ideas and examples above it can be seen that there are valid arguments on both sides of Linking Words
this
debate. Linking Words
However
, I am of the opinion that in the grand scheme of things, the advantage of Linking Words
government
paying the fee for tuition and medical Use synonyms
care
outweighs the disadvantage of affording.Use synonyms
Submitted by yusei.nakano on
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task achievement
Your essay presents a well-constructed discussion on both sides of the argument. However, to further improve, provide more specific examples to strengthen your points. For instance, examples from actual countries can help illustrate your points better.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure is generally clear, but a more organized separation of ideas would be beneficial. Consider using clearer topic sentences and connecting phrases to explicitly guide the reader through your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
While the introduction and conclusion are present and effective, ensure your paragraphs are more balanced in content. Some ideas feel rushed or underdeveloped. Spend a bit more time elaborating on each point, possibly splitting longer paragraphs into more focused, shorter ones.
task achievement
Your essay covers both sides of the argument well and provides a personal opinion, which is required by the task.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and concise, summarizing the essay well.
task achievement
Your ideas are generally clear and easy to follow, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.