Some people think painting and drawings are important as other subjects. They should be compulsory in high school education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In contemporary society, there has been a growing emphasis on the role of
art
in fostering both social and intellectual development. Some individuals argue that incorporating
subjects
such
as painting and drawing into high
school
curricula is essential. I strongly believe that introducing these
subjects
can stimulate areas of a child’s brain that are not typically engaged by traditional academic
subjects
, leading to a well-rounded development of skills that are valuable both now and in the future.
Firstly
, engaging in artistic activities provides
students
with a unique avenue to express their emotions and creativity, which is often stifled in more conventional academic
subjects
. These activities can
also
uncover latent talents that may have been overlooked by parents, who are frequently preoccupied with the demands of modern life. By integrating
art
into the
school
curriculum, talented
students
are given a structured environment in which to nurture and showcase their abilities, which might
otherwise
remain untapped.
Secondly
, high
school
students
undergo significant transitions during
this
phase of their lives, including hormonal, physical, and social changes. These shifts can be overwhelming and, if not properly managed, may lead to negative outcomes,
such
as increased stress and anxiety.
Art
, as a form of therapy, can play a crucial role in helping
students
cope with these challenges. Engaging in creative activities can serve as an emotional outlet, reducing stress and promoting mental well-being, which is essential for their
overall
personal growth. In conclusion, incorporating
art
into the high
school
curriculum is a vital step towards fostering holistic development in
students
. Not only does it enhance their cognitive abilities, but it
also
provides them with a creative outlet to navigate the complexities of adolescence. By prioritising
art
education, we can ensure that
students
are better equipped for both personal and academic success in the future.
Submitted by hindgadeem123 on

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task achievement
While the provided essay is comprehensive, adding more specific examples could further strengthen your arguments. For instance, you could mention how art has been specifically beneficial to students in certain case studies or refer to studies that substantiate the claim about the benefits of art for mental well-being.
task achievement
Try to further elaborate on how exactly the integration of art enhances cognitive abilities. Providing a clear link between artistic activities and cognitive development will make your argument even more compelling.
coherence cohesion
You have a strong logical structure. However, adding some transitional phrases, such as 'Moreover', 'Additionally', or 'Furthermore', could improve the overall flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a well-organized structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. Each paragraph logically flows and supports your main argument well.
task achievement
Your language is clear and your ideas are expressed comprehensively. You effectively convey the importance of art in high school education.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • artistic expression
  • communication
  • self-expression
  • creativity
  • critical thinking skills
  • cultural appreciation
  • understanding
  • therapeutic benefits
  • mental well-being
  • career opportunities
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