Successful ports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is not fair. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#ports #professionals #money #people #professions

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There is

lot

Add an article

a lot

show examples

of discussion about professional

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athletes

Change noun form

athletes'

athlete's

show examples

sallarys

Correct your spelling

salaries

salary

, some think that

athletes

Use synonyms

get paid

lot

Correct article usage

a lot

show examples

that

Correct word choice

than

show examples

they deserve.

Change preposition

show examples

the other hand, there are many who think that salary is well deserved.

Correct your spelling

I'm

going to discuss

about

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apply

show examples

this

Linking Words

subject

morover

Correct your spelling

and give my perspective

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show examples

it. I can see the logic

why

Change preposition

of why

show examples

some people think that

Use synonyms

athletes

Change noun form

athletes'

athlete's

show examples

salarys

Correct your spelling

salaries

are justified.

Dedication

Correct article usage

The dedication

show examples

and work needed to be professional in some kind of

sport

Use synonyms

is massive.

Athletes

Use synonyms

have

spend

Replace the word

spent

show examples

thousands of hours in

gym

Correct article usage

the gym

show examples

and

tracks

Correct subject-verb agreement

track

show examples

, they have dedicated

whole

Correct pronoun usage

their whole

show examples

lifes

Correct your spelling

lives

life

to the

sport

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Career

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The career

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sport

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professional

demans

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demands

also

Linking Words

sacrifice

Correct subject-verb agreement

sacrifices

show examples

from

social

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the social

show examples

aspect of life. Partying with friends is

definetly

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definitely

forbidded

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forbidden

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and

long distance

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long-distance

show examples

travelling must be avoided. I can understand why some think that professional

athletes

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salarys

Correct your spelling

salaries

are too high. I think people often compare

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sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

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to some essential jobs like nursing, without nursing, our society can´t survive. Sports are not essential to our community,

its

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it's

it is

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more like

entertaiment

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entertainment

. Society can survive

whitout entertaiment

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without entertainment

but you can´t say

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

about

healtcare

Correct your spelling

healthcare

health care

. In my own opinion professional

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sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

salarys

Correct your spelling

salaries

are in line with the

demand

Fix the agreement mistake

demands

show examples

of their jobs.

Use synonyms

Sport

Change the noun form

Sports

show examples

performance has to be at

top

Add an article

the top

show examples

level and it takes years and years to practice. My conclusion is that they own every penny.

Submitted by paronen91 on Sat Aug 31 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

To improve coherence, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and avoid mixing arguments between paragraphs.

task achievement

Supporting points with specific examples or data can enhance the strength of your arguments.

task achievement

Work on grammar and spelling, including verb forms and plurals. Proofreading can catch many of these errors.

task achievement

You have demonstrated an understanding of both sides of the argument regarding athletes' salaries.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion summarizes your perspective clearly and ties back to the main points discussed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

2
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
38
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

213 words

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Successful ports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is not fair. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

schools should stop using books for teaching to learn as they find them boring, ad use films, TV and computer instead. To what extent do you agree with this?

in somes areas of US, Teenagers cann't be out of doors at night. Do you argree or disargree

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

In today’s world, private companies rather than the government pay for and conduct most scientific research. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?