Successful ports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is not fair. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There is
lot
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a lot
show examples
of discussion about professional
athletes
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athletes'
athlete's
show examples
sallarys
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salaries
salary
, some think that
athletes
get paid
lot
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a lot
show examples
more
that
Correct word choice
than
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they deserve.
In
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On
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the other hand, there are many who think that salary is well deserved.
Im
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I'm
going to discuss
about
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apply
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this
subject
morover
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more
and give my perspective
to
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on
show examples
it. I can see the logic
why
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of why
show examples
some people think that
athletes
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athletes'
athlete's
show examples
salarys
Correct your spelling
salaries
are justified.
Dedication
Correct article usage
The dedication
show examples
and work needed to be professional in some kind of
sport
is massive.
Athletes
have
spend
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spent
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thousands of hours in
gym
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the gym
show examples
and
tracks
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track
show examples
, they have dedicated
whole
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their whole
show examples
lifes
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lives
life
to the
sport
.
Career
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The career
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of
sport
professional
demans
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demands
also
sacrifice
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sacrifices
show examples
from
social
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the social
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aspect of life. Partying with friends is
definetly
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definitely
forbidded
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forbidden
show examples
and
long distance
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long-distance
show examples
travelling must be avoided. I can understand why some think that professional
athletes
salarys
Correct your spelling
salaries
are too high. I think people often compare
sport
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sports
show examples
to some essential jobs like nursing, without nursing, our society can´t survive. Sports are not essential to our community,
its
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it's
it is
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more like
entertaiment
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entertainment
. Society can survive
whitout entertaiment
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without entertainment
but you can´t say
same
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the same
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about
healtcare
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healthcare
health care
. In my own opinion professional
sport
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sports
show examples
salarys
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salaries
are in line with the
demand
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demands
show examples
of their jobs.
Sport
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Sports
show examples
performance has to be at
top
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the top
show examples
level and it takes years and years to practice. My conclusion is that they own every penny.
Submitted by paronen91 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and avoid mixing arguments between paragraphs.
task achievement
Supporting points with specific examples or data can enhance the strength of your arguments.
task achievement
Work on grammar and spelling, including verb forms and plurals. Proofreading can catch many of these errors.
task achievement
You have demonstrated an understanding of both sides of the argument regarding athletes' salaries.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion summarizes your perspective clearly and ties back to the main points discussed.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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