Nowadays, the way people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the type of relationship that people have? Has this become a positive or negative development?

#people #technology #type #relationship #become #development

There is no doubt, that modern

thechnologies

Correct your spelling

technologies

have changed many spheres of our

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

, including the way of

interacting

Wrong verb form

interact

show examples

among people. Despite

Change preposition

apply

show examples

some positive effects, the phenomenon has

the

Correct article usage

show examples

negative trend, and

this

essay

explore

Change the verb form

explores

show examples

it.

To begin

with, the impact on children will be considered as the

dissadvantage

Correct your spelling

disadvantage

disadvantages

of technologies.

In other words

, children have

stoped

Correct your spelling

stopped

show examples

spend

Wrong verb form

spending

show examples

spare time with peers; gadgets, online

videogames

Correct your spelling

video games

show examples

, and social

medias

Correct your spelling

media

show examples

are more riveting than outdoor activities.

For instance

, my

daugher

Correct your spelling

daughter

instead

interracting

Correct your spelling

interacting

with other children

plays

Change the verb form

play

show examples

roblox

Change the capitalization

Roblox

show examples

videogame every day. In

contast

Correct your spelling

contrast

, deprivation of gizmos stimulates her to play with neighbouring girls.

As a result

the

Correct article usage

show examples

law

Correct your spelling

large

show examples

number of teenagers

practices

Correct subject-verb agreement

practice

show examples

sport, attends additional classes, and

walks

Correct subject-verb agreement

walk

show examples

with other individuals.

In addition

, the influence on adults is

also

destructive, people decrease significantly the number of offline meetings, deteriorating the quality of

such

timespending

Correct your spelling

time spending

time-spending

This

is because

colleags

Correct your spelling

colleagues

and relatives prefer to chat

Change preposition

with

show examples

messangers

Correct your spelling

messengers

, and,

moreover

, do not

qualitively

Correct your spelling

qualitatively

interract

Correct your spelling

interact

with each other

Change preposition

show examples

meetings, surfing

Change preposition

show examples

their phones.

For instance

, yesterday in the

restourant

Correct your spelling

restaurant

I saw

the

Correct article usage

show examples

couple, members of which looked at phones all night long,

were

Correct word choice

and were

show examples

not speaking with each other. It is hard to deny, that forty years ago people talked a lot, because they did not have gadgets. In conclusion, modern developments have

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

negative effects

such

as decreasing offline social

interraction

Correct your spelling

interaction

of kids in lite of the

appearence

Correct your spelling

appearance

of videogames and

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the falling of

adults

Fix the agreement mistake

adult

show examples

live interraction because of

existing

Replace the word

the existence

show examples

messagers

Correct your spelling

messages

Submitted by sergeybelov83 on Sat Aug 31 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Your essay provides a clear response to the task, but there are some issues with coherence and cohesion. Try to ensure that your essay has a logical flow and that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. For example, using linking words and phrases can help guide the reader through your essay more effectively.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are present, but could be stronger. The introduction should succinctly present the main argument and preview the points you will discuss, while the conclusion should summarize the key points and reaffirm your position. Currently, both could benefit from being more detailed and clearly structured.

task achievement

While you provide relevant examples, your main points need to be better supported with evidence and detailed explanation. Take the time to fully develop your ideas in each paragraph to make your argument more persuasive.

task achievement

Pay attention to your grammar and spelling, as errors can impact the clarity of your writing. Consider using spell-check tools and proofreading your work to catch mistakes such as 'thechnologies' instead of 'technologies' and 'dissadvantage' instead of 'disadvantage.'

task achievement

You have addressed the task and provided relevant examples to support your points. This is a great start.

coherence cohesion

Your essay structure has clear main points, and each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the topic. This improves readability.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
38Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

249 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

interact
technology
relationship
connectivity
virtual
communication skills
dependency
access
information
positive
negative
development

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
The diagram details the process of making clothes from plastic bottles.
The provided diagram depicts how the production of clothes is done from recyclable plastic bottles. Overall, the entire process involves 13 steps in total until the final product, clothes, is produced.
8
band
Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?
It is a common belief that a great number of individuals are complaining about not having enough hours of sleep causing diseases and lack of energy. However, there are some methods that can be done to resolve this issue by achieving a life balance and doing exercise.
<4
band
Some colleges encourage students to create businesses while they are still in school. Do the advantage of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Now aday, On the other hand, students establishing businesses while still in school helps students gain more experience and knowledge they have learned at school to be able to apply in practice. In addition, in addition to experiencing hands-on nurturing skills such as problem solving, leadership, and time management, enriching an education beyond textbooks.
5
band
Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe that they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
There have been competing views on whether skilled workers should work in the country that trained them. In my opinion, they should be grant a freedom of movement in order to achieve their career fulfillment.
7
band
The users of social media, such as Facebook, Twitter, are replacing face-to-face contact in this century. Do you think the advantages of this way outweigh the disadvatages?
In recent decades, real-life interaction has been replaced with social networks. This essay will argue that despite the opportunity to be in touch with friends and family, the deterioration of communication skills means that the disadvantages far outweigh the advantages.

Nowadays, the way people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the type of relationship that people have? Has this become a positive or negative development?

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The diagram details the process of making clothes from plastic bottles.

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?

Some colleges encourage students to create businesses while they are still in school. Do the advantage of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe that they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

The users of social media, such as Facebook, Twitter, are replacing face-to-face contact in this century. Do you think the advantages of this way outweigh the disadvatages?