The US film industry has too much influence on the film industry around the world. Governments have a duty to invest money in their own film industries to protect and develop their cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

US
Correct article usage
The US
show examples
is the pioneer of the
film
industry.
Therefore
other countries' filmmakers
Add a missing verb
are effected
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effected
Correct your spelling
affected
show examples
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
them easily.
Country's
Correct article usage
The country's
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administrations have
responsibility
Add an article
a responsibility
the responsibility
show examples
to support their
film
industries in order to protect and develop their cultures. It is strongly believed that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
should invest
local
Change preposition
in local
show examples
film
Fix the agreement mistake
films
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with the aim of
known
Add a missing verb
being known
show examples
by other countries and
shape
Wrong verb form
shaping
show examples
country's
Correct article usage
the country's
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children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
futures.
Children
are the main generation who
influence
Wrong verb form
are influenced
show examples
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
cartoons and
movies
. If officials want to raise
Correct article usage
the countrie's
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countrie's
Correct your spelling
countries
country's
children
with their own values they should invest money
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
industry
Add an article
the industry
show examples
. They can produce films more original way thanks to money,
aditionally
Correct your spelling
additionally
it can be beneficial for
children
's cultural and moral education. In recent years, Turkey has great breakthrough in the
filed
Correct your spelling
field
show examples
of
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
movies
, and it was observed that
children
are more
attach
Change the form of the verb
attached
show examples
to their cultures than
old
Add an article
the old
show examples
generation.
Moreover
, developed
film
industries
not
Add a missing verb
are not
show examples
only beneficial for local people but
also
great
Correct article usage
a great
show examples
opporunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
to promote local
culture
to other territories. If
film
producers have enough
sources
Correct your spelling
resources
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
produce
Change the verb form
producing
show examples
quailty
Correct your spelling
quality
films, they can watched
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all around the world, which provides
opportunity
Add an article
an opportunity
the opportunity
show examples
to promote
culture
how the way they want. Bollywood is one of the greatest
example
Change to a plural noun
examples
show examples
, thanks to Bollywood we all have
idea
Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
show examples
about Indian
culture
. Well known
film
industry
also
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
citizens to feel
prouded
Correct your spelling
proud
and will
be resulted
Wrong verb form
result
show examples
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
increasing
watching
Verb problem
the number of
show examples
local
movies
as well. Most of the Indians watch Indian
movies
because they are popular globally. In conclusion,
supporting
Replace the word
support
show examples
by
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
is crucial for
film
Correct article usage
the film
show examples
industries
Fix the agreement mistake
industry
show examples
, if they
keen
Add a missing verb
are keen
show examples
on
protect
Change the verb form
protecting
show examples
the
culture
, especially from the influence of Hollywood films.
Submitted by xxxx17 on

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language
Work on improving your grammar and sentence structure. There are noticeable errors which slightly hinder the clarity of your message.
language
Try to make your points more precise. Some sentences are a bit difficult to follow because of their complexity or minor grammatical inaccuracies.
content
Consider diving deeper into examples or arguments to strengthen your points, providing more specific statistics, quotations, or detailed scenarios.
structure
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your argument well.
content
You've included multiple valid points and examples to support your argument.
content
You’ve maintained relevance to the task, addressing both the influence of the US film industry and the need for local government support.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Americanisation
  • Cultural imperialism
  • Local cinema
  • Cultural diversity
  • Cultural homogenization
  • Film subsidies
  • National identity
  • Artistic expression
  • Blockbusters
  • Cultural preservation
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