IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that newspapers are the best way to get news. However, others believe that they can get news better through other media platforms. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #newspapers #news #media #platforms
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With technological advancements in recent decades, other means to follow the
news
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 have been made available
for
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to
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 us. Some people believe that the best way to be informed about
news
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 (and what is happening in/around the world) is through
newspapers
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 / through the physical, paper-based newspaper. On the other side, we have individuals/those who think other
media
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 (platforms) is better / is the better choice (in staying up-to-date with the current affairs). I agree with the latter idea(, and I have some reasons to support my opinion). Nowadays, you can catch the
news
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 through many ways
such
Linking Words
 as television, the internet, radio, or even your phone.
For example
Linking Words
, if you have a
smart phone
Correct your spelling
smartphone
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, you can become aware of anything just by searching the net or visiting some websites like The New York Times
news
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 website
instead
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 of (the) traditional ways which takes a lot of time to be prepared for you. Anything happening somewhere in
this
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 world is broadcast
in
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on
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 some social
media
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 by some content creator(s), available for all to read about.
Moreover
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, by using the net and other means to get
news
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instead
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 of
newspapers
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, you have done
such
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 an environmentally friendly act.
On the other hand
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, we have people who argue that the best way of getting/consuming/obtaining
news
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 is through
newspapers
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.
Firstly
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, they say our grandparents and
elderlies
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the elderly
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 /
Firstly
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, it is obvious that the elderly who are not familiar with the internet can’t get used to these new gadgets and how to obtain
news
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 from them, so they can’t follow the latest
news
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 through other
media
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.
Moreover
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,
because of
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apply
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, the
news
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which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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they provide is reliable and trustworthy. In the end, it’s true that both ways have their own benefits and disadvantages which are mentioned above;
however
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, I think
newspapers
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 are not as good as the other forms of
media
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ramenosko on

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task achievement
Your essay needs a clearer and more comprehensive development of ideas. Try to include more supporting details and relevant examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Focus on improving the coherence of your essay by ensuring that each paragraph logically follows the previous one. Use more transitional phrases to link ideas together.
coherence cohesion
Work on your sentence structure to avoid redundancy. For example, ‘those who think other media is better / is the better choice’ can simply be stated as ‘those who think other media platforms are better.’
task achievement
You have presented both sides of the argument and have given your opinion, which is necessary for this type of essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear, which helps the overall structure of the essay.
task achievement
You've used examples like The New York Times website and smart phones to substantiate your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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