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Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people think that newspapers are the best way to get news. However, others believe that they can get news better through other media platforms. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #newspapers #news #media #platforms
With technological advancements in recent decades, other means to follow the
news
 have been made available
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 us. Some people believe that the best way to be informed about
news
 (and what is happening in/around the world) is through
newspapers
 / through the physical, paper-based newspaper. On the other side, we have individuals/those who think other
media
 (platforms) is better / is the better choice (in staying up-to-date with the current affairs). I agree with the latter idea(, and I have some reasons to support my opinion). Nowadays, you can catch the
news
 through many ways
such
 as television, the internet, radio, or even your phone.
For example
, if you have a
smart phone
Correct your spelling
smartphone
show examples
, you can become aware of anything just by searching the net or visiting some websites like The New York Times
news
 website
instead
 of (the) traditional ways which takes a lot of time to be prepared for you. Anything happening somewhere in
this
 world is broadcast
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 some social
media
 by some content creator(s), available for all to read about.
Moreover
, by using the net and other means to get
news
instead
 of
newspapers
, you have done
such
 an environmentally friendly act.
On the other hand
, we have people who argue that the best way of getting/consuming/obtaining
news
 is through
newspapers
.
Firstly
, they say our grandparents and
elderlies
Fix the agreement mistake
the elderly
show examples
 /
Firstly
, it is obvious that the elderly who are not familiar with the internet can’t get used to these new gadgets and how to obtain
news
 from them, so they can’t follow the latest
news
 through other
media
.
Moreover
,
because of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, the
news
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
they provide is reliable and trustworthy. In the end, it’s true that both ways have their own benefits and disadvantages which are mentioned above;
however
, I think
newspapers
 are not as good as the other forms of
media
.
Submitted by ramenosko on

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task achievement
Your essay needs a clearer and more comprehensive development of ideas. Try to include more supporting details and relevant examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Focus on improving the coherence of your essay by ensuring that each paragraph logically follows the previous one. Use more transitional phrases to link ideas together.
coherence cohesion
Work on your sentence structure to avoid redundancy. For example, ‘those who think other media is better / is the better choice’ can simply be stated as ‘those who think other media platforms are better.’
task achievement
You have presented both sides of the argument and have given your opinion, which is necessary for this type of essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear, which helps the overall structure of the essay.
task achievement
You've used examples like The New York Times website and smart phones to substantiate your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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