IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that buildings such as flats and houses should be designed to last a long time. Others believe that it is more important to provide accommodation quickly and cheaply. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowladge or experiance

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In modern life house companies have taken fast steps to solve housing's high demand. Some
people
Use synonyms
 say it's better to have strong quality materials to
last
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 a long time,
on the other hand
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, others believe it should be more practical and easy to finish building in a short amount of time. In
this
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 essay, I will be discussing both side's views. First of all, we have
people
Use synonyms
 who say homes must be heavy-duty to
last
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 a long time. I tend to agree with them because of today's weather conditions that are happening around the world.
For example
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 earthquakes and the amount of impact that bring to houses in terms of destabilizing the infecterctior and threatening to home distraction. So builders have to set a respected and proper demand of money from owners before attempting to start working on the project.
Moreover
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, engineers
also
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 have a great responsibility to deliver good planning for builders to have optimal work, for
people
Use synonyms
's safety. Others think that with cheaper materials they can have a decent place.
However
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, they don't know the risk that they are putting in workplace and home infections.
For instance
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, a 3D-painted home lacing a lot of support at least around the corners which can lead in case of crucial bad intensweathwer to catastrophic results. And puts human life in great danger. In conclusion,
government
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the government
show examples
 should set rules and regulations to reduce the risk of house collapses. A witch can harm lives for things that could have been built.
Also
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, bad materials must be removed from stores, in the end, workers and everyone involved have the responsibility to ensure
people
Use synonyms
's safety.

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coherence cohesion
Work on varying sentence structure to improve coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Ensure all paragraphs are well-developed and logically connected.
task achievement
Provide more consistent and detailed examples to support arguments.
task achievement
Clarify and elaborate on points to enhance understanding.
task achievement
Good attempt at discussing both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion presenting the main ideas.
task achievement
Relevant examples are used, although they could be more detailed.
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