IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause What can be done about lack of sleep tiredness darkcircles

#people #difficulties #lack #tiredness #darkcircles
The topic of not getting enough sleep has become a major concern in recent years.
This
 essay will discuss the problems. And provide some potential solutions. First of all. Sleep is the number one factor in having a good healthy life. Not having a good night's sleep could be because of a lot of circumstances. Maybe working late for long hours or studying until midnight. Some
people
 stay up late to hang out with their friends and party all night. The lack of getting enough sleep is a huge issue.
This
 can lead to many illnesses, low performance, And low quality of life.
For instance
, a study
had been
Verb problem
apply
show examples
done at the University of Yale showed that
people
 who sleep less than 8 hours are most likely to suffer during the day. Nowadays it is hard to get an appropriate amount of sleep
due to
 our work or study or our lifestyle.
However
, To address these issues we need to start aware
people
 of how crucial is to sleep  and lead a campaign to educate
people
 about how to sleep effectively, in schools and on social media.
additionally
, the government should put strict roles on work hours. And prevent working too late.
Furthermore
. I believe every individual should take care of his own sleep pattern and make sure to set up a comfortable room to sleep in. In conclusion. Sleep is essential in all aspects of life, including work performance and our health.
Also
 our relationships .
Therefore
, we need to make sleep a priority. And reduce staying up all night.
Submitted by reem.rz112 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to support your points. For instance, you could discuss particular health issues related to lack of sleep, or how different professions are impacted.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to proofread your essay to correct minor grammatical errors and improve sentence flow. For example, use conjunctions to avoid fragmented sentences.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that this idea is explicitly stated. Including transitional phrases between sentences and paragraphs can improve the flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, helping to frame the discussion neatly.
task achievement
The topic is addressed and various aspects of the issue are discussed, showing a good understanding of the task.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: