Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. to what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued Rich Nations should provide the necessities to those who are displaced from their
countires
. I totally agree with Correct your spelling
countries
this
statement because it is morally correct to provide a better lives
for them and agreeing to Correct the article-noun agreement
life
recive
them will lead the country to productivity.
It is not right to watch poor countries who are Correct your spelling
receive
the
verge of war or Change preposition
on the
poverity
and not provide help. Correct your spelling
poverty
welathy
countries are Correct your spelling
wealthy
capble
of Correct your spelling
capable
providinhg
food, shelter, and safety Correct your spelling
providing
becuase
of their rise in economy and their Correct your spelling
because
well develped
Add a hyphen
well-develped
constractions
sector. Correct your spelling
construction
constructions
for example
, During the war on Syria
many humans were able to go Add a comma
Syria,
Change preposition
to germany
germany
as Change the capitalization
Germany
its
was a refuge base which later on the country Change the pronoun
it
accped
them as Correct your spelling
accepted
accept
citziens
.
A positive effect can be Correct your spelling
citizens
acchived
with mirgin. These refugees will start taking up residence and will open new Correct your spelling
achieved
business
for them with the support of the Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
goverment
. In Correct your spelling
government
additin
, Correct your spelling
addition
this
will create new job opportunites
and Correct your spelling
opportunities
develpe
the economy which will be Correct your spelling
develop
benifal
in the future. Correct your spelling
benefit
For example
, In turkey
, the Correct your spelling
in Turkey
syrian
refugees were seen Change the capitalization
Syrian
opeing
Correct your spelling
opening
resternautes
and establishing new Correct your spelling
restaurants
proffesions
which is now raising the Gross domestic product in the country.
In conclusion, humanitarian wise nations need to help each other and provide Correct your spelling
professions
accomidation
and nessiesities that every human needs to survive. Correct your spelling
accommodation
Morover
, no good deed will wither away. in Correct your spelling
Moreover
return
the refugees will contribute by upwaring the labor market.Add a comma
return,
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task achievement
While your position on the topic is clear and strongly supported, there are several language errors that impact the clarity and readability of your essay. Pay attention to proper spelling, punctuation, and grammar. Also try to structure your sentences better for improved readability.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow between sentences and within paragraphs. While your main ideas are generally clear, the connections between them can be made smoother. This will help the reader follow your points more easily.
coherence cohesion
Consider expanding your introduction to provide some context before stating your position. This would strengthen the coherence and make your argument more compelling from the start.
task achievement
Your essay effectively uses strong examples to support your points, such as the cases of Germany and Turkey accepting refugees.
coherence cohesion
Both your introduction and conclusion are present and serve their purposes well. Your conclusion aptly summarizes the main points discussed in the essay.
task achievement
The main ideas you present are relevant to the topic and demonstrate critical thinking on the issue of wealthy nations accepting more refugees.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.