There is no need to go out to see live performance (concert...) because it is better to see them on the TV or Computer screen. Do you agree or disagree

#performance #concert #tv #computer #screen

In the past decades, people have had a deep bond with music and admired their beloved artists personally. Some individuals opine that going out to see live performances is unnecessary, which I wholeheartedly disagree with. I shall explain my point of view in the forthcoming paragraphs. To commence with the agreement, some people find attending a concert is

such

a waste of money and time because watching the show on the screen is sufficient.

On the other hand

, they will not be able to capture the full essence of being present at the concert and seeing their favourite singers in person.

Moreover

, it is an undeniable truth that if you have ever attended a live show, you can obviously notice the differences in feelings.

In addition

, live performances offer unique and irreplaceable experiences, with the sound of every musical instrument around the stage against your heartbeat in your body dramatically. The touching moment, joyful excitement and emotional reaction can be shared all over the audience. On top of that, engaging in the performance and purchasing the ticket are ways to express encouragement to the artist and their team. In conclusion, I strongly believe that every individual who has been in the live performance of their adoring ones, would not be able to move on from the wholesome sensation at that moment.

Thus

, being a part of a concert will be worth every single penny you pay.

Submitted by netika5646 on Sat Aug 31 2024

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Consider providing more specific examples to strengthen your argument. This will make your points more relatable and persuasive.

coherence cohesion

Try to maintain a clear and consistent logical structure throughout the essay to make it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.

task achievement

Work on expanding and explaining your main points more comprehensively. This will enhance the clarity of your ideas.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction is concise and clearly states your opinion, setting up the essay effectively.

introduction conclusion present

The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reinforces your stance, which leaves a strong final impression.

coherence cohesion

There are good transitional phrases used to connect different parts of the essay, which aids the overall flow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

236 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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There is no need to go out to see live performance (concert...) because it is better to see them on the TV or Computer screen. Do you agree or disagree

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what solutions can you suggest?

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An increasing number of people are choosing plastic surgery. Why do people choose to change the way they look? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?