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There is no need to go out to see live performance (concert...) because it is better to see them on the TV or Computer screen. Do you agree or disagree

#performance #concert #tv #computer #screen
In the past decades, people have had a deep bond with music and admired their beloved artists personally. Some individuals opine that going out to see live performances is unnecessary, which I wholeheartedly disagree with. I shall explain my point of view in the forthcoming paragraphs. To commence with the agreement, some people find attending a concert is
such
 a waste of money and time because watching the show on the screen is sufficient.
On the other hand
, they will not be able to capture the full essence of being present at the concert and seeing their favourite singers in person.
Moreover
, it is an undeniable truth that if you have ever attended a live show, you can obviously notice the differences in feelings.
In addition
, live performances offer unique and irreplaceable experiences, with the sound of every musical instrument around the stage against your heartbeat in your body dramatically. The touching moment, joyful excitement and emotional reaction can be shared all over the audience. On top of that, engaging in the performance and purchasing the ticket are ways to express encouragement to the artist and their team. In conclusion, I strongly believe that every individual who has been in the live performance of their adoring ones, would not be able to move on from the wholesome sensation at that moment.
Thus
, being a part of a concert will be worth every single penny you pay.
Submitted by netika5646 on

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to strengthen your argument. This will make your points more relatable and persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Try to maintain a clear and consistent logical structure throughout the essay to make it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.
task achievement
Work on expanding and explaining your main points more comprehensively. This will enhance the clarity of your ideas.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction is concise and clearly states your opinion, setting up the essay effectively.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reinforces your stance, which leaves a strong final impression.
coherence cohesion
There are good transitional phrases used to connect different parts of the essay, which aids the overall flow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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