IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some countries have introduced laws to limit the working hours that an employer can ask from an employee. Why are these laws introduced? Is this a positive or negative trend?

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Over the past few years, certain countries have implemented laws to establish the number of
hours
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 an employer can require an employee to work.
This
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 essay will outline the possible reasons for implementing these regulations
such
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 as overworking because of the need to earn more and explain why
this
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 development is positive.
To begin
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 with, some people overwork to earn more
due to
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 financial problems or the fear of job loss.
Additionally
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, companies may require employees to work additional
hours
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 to meet targets or reduce costs.
For example
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, in South Korea, workers often work longer to stand out in the competitive market,
while
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employers
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 frequently demand overtime to boost
productivity
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.
This
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 has led to burnout and encouraged the government to apply a limit to protect worker’s health and improve their quality of life.
Overall
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,
this
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 new legislation regarding maximum working
hours
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 has a positive impact on both employees and
employers
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. If workers had more time for their personal lives, they could spend more time with family and engage in sports, which could enhance their well-being and motivation.
As a result
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,
employers
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 are likely to gain significant advantages, as employees are expected to show increased
productivity
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 and motivation.
For instance
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,
according to
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 a recent survey, after the introduction of a shorter workweek in some countries,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
companies reported a noticeable increase in employee satisfaction and a boost in
productivity
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, demonstrating the benefits of better work-life balance for both workers and
employers
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. In conclusion, new regulations on permissible working
hours
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 were launched by the government
due to
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 the tendency for individuals to overwork. These measures are designed to promote a healthier work-life balance, ultimately leading to enhanced employee well-being and increased
productivity
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.

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coherence cohesion
Identify the main point in each paragraph and make sure each one is clearly supported by specific examples or details where possible. This will make your arguments stronger and more persuasive.
task achievement
Ensure that every main idea is developed in its own paragraph, and that it's fully explained. Right now, some ideas could benefit from being a bit more detailed or supported.
coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a clear, logical structure which makes it easy for the reader to follow your argument. You've effectively utilized introductory and concluding paragraphs.
task achievement
You have addressed the prompt effectively, discussing both the reasons why these laws are implemented and your stance on whether they are positive.
task achievement
You've used relevant examples, particularly when discussing South Korea and the survey on employee satisfaction, which adds depth to your essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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