IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014.

The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014.
#change #prices #three #metals
The provided line graph gives information about
typical
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the typical
a typical
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change
Fix the agreement mistake
changes
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 in the prices of different metals, namely copper, nickel and
zink
Correct your spelling
zinc
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,in a particular year, 2014. The units are measured in numbers and show
change
Add an article
a change
the change
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 in
price
 compared with
previous
Add an article
the previous
show examples
 month. Generally speaking, it is evident that
figure
Correct article usage
the figure
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 show
vast
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the vast
a vast
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 majority of changes throughout
given
Add an article
the given
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 period and
nickels
Fix the agreement mistake
nickel prices
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price
 touched the
bottommost
Correct word choice
bottom
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 point,
while
 copper and zink prices remained relatively steady in comparison. With regards to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
January
Add a comma
January,
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 it is evident that nickel comprised 6% of
change
Add an article
the change
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 in
price
,
while
 cooper 2% and zinc's
price
plateued
Correct your spelling
plateaued
 with 1%.
However
, in June all given different types of metal comprised
lower
Correct article usage
a lower
show examples
 scale than 0 and reached the nadir, with -1%,-2% and -3% respectively. '
Additionally
, it is noticeable that despite
of
Change preposition
apply
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an overwhelming changes
Correct the article-noun agreement
overwhelming changes
an overwhelming change
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 in the prices of metal in previous years, in three months, namely July, August and September all metals remained steady.
Moreover
, in November of 2014, zinc
price
change
 faced an upward trend and comprised 2%,
while
 copper
approximately
Add a missing verb
was approximately
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 1,5% and eventually nickel 1%.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words change, price with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • average monthly change
  • prices of metals
  • trend
  • spike
  • fluctuation
  • increase
  • decrease
  • sharp rise
  • sharp fall
  • stability
  • volatility
  • data points
  • comparison
  • contrast
  • external factors
  • influences
  • market dynamics
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