IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

Despite better access to education, many adults today still cannot read or write. In what ways are they disadvantaged? What can governments do to help them?

#access #education #adults #governments
Do you think
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education can
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 the world in a different way?
Aducation
Correct your spelling
Education
 is one of the most important things in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human
lifes
Correct your spelling
life
lives
 nowadays , And in
this
generation
Add a comma
generation,
show examples
 they see
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education
is on
Correct your spelling
as one
show examples
 of the reasons to live .  For the
Adults
 people who
cant
Correct your spelling
can't
show examples
 read or write, we know that they are facing difficulties in life . The
basics
Change the noun form
basic
show examples
 things that we do in our day
it does
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 need
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
reading and writing, we must make sure to educate the
adults
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
 they are responsible
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 making generations after them .
The
Correct your spelling
They
show examples
 must be more
knowledges
Replace the word
knowledgeable
show examples
 and educated so they can make a difference in the world . For the Governments
side
Add a comma
side,
show examples
 they can help the
adults
 by
meaking
Correct your spelling
creating
 a small school to educate
adults
 and older people . Government is one of the most important
thing
Change to a plural noun
things
show examples
 that should improve
Correct your spelling
their
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 people to educate
forthermore
Correct your spelling
furthermore
 they can open a class to learn
who
Correct word choice
how
show examples
 to write and read
Correct your spelling
their
thier
Correct your spelling
their
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
foreign language
Submitted by remasaljassar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Ensure there is a clear introduction and conclusion. Your essay starts with a question about education's impact rather than directly addressing the topic of adult illiteracy.
relevant specific examples
Provide specific examples to illustrate the disadvantages faced by illiterate adults and how government interventions could help. This will strengthen your argument.
clear comprehensive ideas
Improve sentence structure and grammar to make your ideas clearer. Pay attention to punctuation and avoid run-on sentences.
supported main points
You have touched on important points like the impact of illiteracy on daily life and the role of government in providing education to adults.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: