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Band 2

Despite better access to education, many adults today still cannot read or write. In what ways are they disadvantaged? What can governments do to help them?

#access #education #adults #governments
Do you think
the
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apply
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education can
effect
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affect
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 the world in a different way?
Aducation
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Education
 is one of the most important things in
the
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apply
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human
lifes
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life
lives
 nowadays , And in
this
generation
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generation,
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 they see
the
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apply
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education
is on
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as one
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 of the reasons to live .  For the
Adults
 people who
cant
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can't
show examples
 read or write, we know that they are facing difficulties in life . The
basics
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basic
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 things that we do in our day
it does
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 need
a
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apply
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reading and writing, we must make sure to educate the
adults
beacuse
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because
 they are responsible
of
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for
show examples
 making generations after them .
The
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They
show examples
 must be more
knowledges
Replace the word
knowledgeable
show examples
 and educated so they can make a difference in the world . For the Governments
side
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side,
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 they can help the
adults
 by
meaking
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creating
 a small school to educate
adults
 and older people . Government is one of the most important
thing
Change to a plural noun
things
show examples
 that should improve
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their
thier
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their
 people to educate
forthermore
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furthermore
 they can open a class to learn
who
Correct word choice
how
show examples
 to write and read
Correct your spelling
their
thier
Correct your spelling
their
on
Change preposition
apply
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foreign language
Submitted by remasaljassar on

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure there is a clear introduction and conclusion. Your essay starts with a question about education's impact rather than directly addressing the topic of adult illiteracy.
relevant specific examples
Provide specific examples to illustrate the disadvantages faced by illiterate adults and how government interventions could help. This will strengthen your argument.
clear comprehensive ideas
Improve sentence structure and grammar to make your ideas clearer. Pay attention to punctuation and avoid run-on sentences.
supported main points
You have touched on important points like the impact of illiteracy on daily life and the role of government in providing education to adults.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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